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You let me see you
You let me feel your heart
From there it was a start
You've shared your deepest thoughts with ne
Deep down inside where things hide
You let me feel you
You let me know how you'd realy be
Now let me know the feel of you
Just a little touch will do
To feel the texture of you
To smell the essence of you
touch your hair
And oh to touch you there
See thosse eyes see that smile
I only wanna be with you for a littke while
I understand what you said and
I understand that it's real
But still I can't help the way I feel
You promised me the fulfillment I
Desire only you can put out this fire
I only wanna be with you for a little while
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Ohhh... you got some words. What a loving poem. How could any man (or woman) say no.
One thing though, read your poems aloud to someone who can listen well. Or, better yet, have them read your poem back to you. Listen to where they mess up the rhythm. You have to be very careful of end rhymes ... it's too damned easy to crumple a line to have that rhyme show up ... it must go by like the stoke of a good massage -- you know, where you have a good pinch of flesh and no where to go with it (at the top of the shoulders or at the neck) ... poetry is like that, just hold the pinch until it slips OF ITS OWN out of your fingers. Smooooth.
Heh heh, is that at all clear?
I love the "fire" "while" rhyme ... that soft "i" hiding in those words. That's magical poetry right there.
