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If it wasn't this, it would be something else.
And what would it be?
An apple pie, maybe.
Or a handful of soul.
Or - even better - simply whatever you want.
Ok, so the question might be, what do you want? You can have it all. Just have to choose, so please, tell me, what do you want.
And you wonder... Well, what do I want?
We keep thinking about it all day long, while bored at our desk, or climbing mountains or diving or experimenting, still, we always believe there is something more we definitely need.
To fill that hole, to open that door, to see what's next.
And what if all we have is exactly what we need?! What if... What about living without all that shit we host in our mind? And more...
What about owning only - strictly what we need. And I am not talking about throwing away extras. Example, My Ipod is not an extra. I do want it, I am not a slave of it. He is part of my daily life and gives me something, Music... Good. Entertainment while commuting, perfect!
But what about all those boxes full of crap? And those closets full of fashion?! And your mind, still full of shit?!
Feng Shui says that the starting point to obtain balance in your life is a Clean&Neat space. Free the area around you and take a look around.
What is in that box? Old pics? Very nice, but not in your bedroom... They won't let you go on and keep you stuck in the past. And all that dust is not only turning your room into a dirty place but also your life into a mess...
And you know what? It's you, and only you who is able to decide whether to change this mood or not.
Trasitionally me. Work in Progress...
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I agree with Wiwstsosom (man, that's hard to type); I'm impressed how well this is written in English, which I don't think is your native tongue. However, the ending does come suddenly and could be set up better in the rest of the piece. I also feel like the gratuitious use of "shit" is just that: gratuitous. If it was used to depict the frustration of the speaker, building in anger, (like, "this is all shit, nothing more...") it might work, but instead it just feels like it's being used because you can't think of a better word.
Also, don't use ?! I used to use these myself until I learned that editors absolutely hate it. Well-done, though! |
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| self revealng..very soliloquy style...like the person is really going ans striving for a positive change..maybe you can think and try and modify the idea a little more...to portray the WIP better...by maybe just looking around the room a little more..while reading i wanted a little more of the speaker's mind to be portrayed...and that is just my opinion as a reader :)..an out of the mess situatuin..i am not a critic..i am just a reader..i hope it helps u though..:) |
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