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now this peace is strictly uncut raw not profanity or anything like that some times i do slip in cause that how i be feelin' artistic expression...... huh?but when i see my work i can see so deep.... or it can be observin' somebody else's work and i go beyond let's face it go byond and keep going beyond and i'm in the process of marketin' my style so it patent thru series of other works that i have line up after the main book is drop and the main and the main album iis released i been thing about massive release thru a distributor so i don't know what i have line up but if you like this then stay tune.........
-n-Phe-nyte
oh and p.s. i got some confusein' peaces as to who am i don't worry enjoy the ryde................
dbl.P.p.s. i really need help with titles so if you feel at title needs to be change or a line mis out of please tell me subscious about that....
-and think you
-love peace one-
-n-Phe-nyte
past time two be crackin'
down on those apologies
causin' uncertainty
questionin'
the truth within
lackin'
of doubtin'
within
full proof
denies me
fore not compromisin'
hatin'
me
fore not chastisin'
the giving alarm that be
two aloof
the the roof
that spoof
it's no surprisin'
you steady trippin' off
set tippin' a cough
you still trippin'?
ump! dismiss the fear
as it comes back
fore years
in showin' faith it attacks
and keeps comin' back
dodgin' bullets of shells
& more than just a a third of the blacks
in jail
the other half in prison
& will the '144' of me
remain in hell
how do we
fall out with which we
can be risen?
of diss missin'
the fear
that keeps comin'
back...... back...........
the error of not knowin' the coffee iz hot and black!
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you killed it, I must say. I like the way you space the rhymes so that the reader is almost forced to read with the flow that you might spit this with. I feel like this is the biggest problem with reading rhymes without hearing them delivered by the artist, but you pull it off well. The black coffee metaphor is a little overused and borderline cliche, but I think it works fairly well here. My favorite line is "in showing faith it attacks and keeps coming back" I feel like this is an attack on blind faith and religion to a certain extent. It would be better to hear you spit this tho, good job.
