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29
29, 29...
i feel you in my bones
dichotomy
of young and old
lost child
seeking adult with
direction, like
where am i going
where's the damn map?
and why is half of wyoming missing?
coffee and nicotene stained
fingers trace
dashed and dotted roads
wondering
what have i done?
maybe i need a globe
spin twice, finger out
punch and go.
i feel a stirring
deep, electric
restless, ready
on balls of feet
coiled, dancing, pacing, prancing,
waiting...
it's too much.
desire
root of all ills
longing
to leave
to stay
to procreate?
no. then what?
this feeling
tingling in my bones
something is calling me
to redefine home
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"to leave
to stay
to procreate?
no. then what"
I love these lines. This is a very delightful piece. The character was very brought out in his/her urgency and confusion that even if you haven't expierenced it you feel as though you just did. |
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Comment by: jbunger - 2007-09-21 16:07
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I love "longing / to leave / to stay / to procreate?/ no." Without using many words you sum the questions that the narrator has and are able to universalize it so that anyone reading can relate to them. I also love: "ready / on balls of feet / coiled, dancing, pacing, prancing, /
waiting... / it's too much." It makes me feel her nature is urging her to be "ready" to move forward in life and she's just not reciprocating. awesome poem! |
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Comment by: jbunger - 2007-09-21 16:07
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I love "longing / to leave / to stay / to procreate?/ no." Without using many words you sum the questions that the narrator has and are able to universalize it so that anyone reading can relate to them. I also love: "ready / on balls of feet / coiled, dancing, pacing, prancing, /
waiting... / it's too much." It makes me feel her nature is urging her to be "ready" to move forward in life and she's just not reciprocating. awesome poem! |
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Comment by: Arley - 2007-05-27 09:24
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I enjoyed this, you successfully arrived at a conclusion where most of the things I've seen done in this style seem to end in ambiguity. Really love the last two lines!
Oh by the way, 29 staring down the barrel of 30 ain't nuffin! I could tell you a story that could break your heart, heh heh. |
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| oops i forgot punctuation after what. should have been "what?" |
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