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Narrow Youth
You wanted so much more
Than what the cosmos could allot
Expecting
Tomorrow's dawn
In yesterday's shadow, and
You, a child of daddy's penchants for
Spoiling eggs before they
Were prepared to hatch,
Watched geese flying homeward north
For the warmer solstice, swoop down upon
Your perfect doorstep
Just to say hello
Throughout similar
June winters
Decades later
I observed a limp body sag from stools
Propped lower than any bar
Was ever constructed
I felt cigarette ash
Drift from plaster skies,
Shoveled inherited sin
Down a tangled throat'¦
Now I stumble over
Stranger islands,
Native dogs plot deception
With the magpies'I step heavily
Blind of their efforts
Graced by meadows of forgiving sunflowers
Opening my arms
I bathe in their radiance
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Jay...
I was hungry for some of your words. So here I sat and feasted upon beautiful, magnificent, rich words. Thank you. |
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| All I can say is beautiful. Thanks, dd |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-06-26 19:08
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| Jay I should have read this long ago. This is excellent. Have you thought of publishing a book? |
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Comment by: AJSmith - 2007-06-26 08:02
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| Hi, i really liked the words in this poem. They way they merged and fit together. you put them together well. the description of 'you' in the first part was very evocative, a sense of young to old came across really well. Then with your appearance, unless this is to state that the 'you' had just died, i didnt like. I thought the poem was strong enough to focus on the 'you' character without turning attention to the narrator. The 4th nd 5th stanzas are so strong id be tempted to end with tangeled throat... (throat cancer?) all the rest does is describe how lost the narrator is, but this poem isnt about the narrator. right? anyway - really good, you always have something to offer. |
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Comment by: foxfyre - 2007-06-18 22:56
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| I don't know how I missed this one. I love the last two stanzas especially...there is almost a sigh in this....like a breath being released in joy. |
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