writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Goatboy1974
Stephen McCoull
United Kingdom, Berkshire, Reading

Words: 501
Access: Public
Comments: 8

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Agony

Richard Cazaly, stood amongst the yellow blossom covered trees at the foot of the bleak Scottish mountains, pondering how to respond to the terrible bloody events he had allowed himself to become embroiled in.
The sweet chattering of the newly arrived sparrows, returning from the hot African plains, zipping playfully around the grey skies above him, did nothing to ease his twisted mind.
Only days before, when he was busy cutting an elderly lady's garden, his world had been shattered for the second time in a week, when the police had come to take him away for questioning about a bestial act that will affect me for the rest of my life.
They had expressed hatred for him, spat in his face, but in the end they were forced by a judge to free him.
After a few days he could take no more of the anguish that was building like water behind a closed valve, so he had fled to his homeland, to the town-less quiet of the wilds where the flatlands and the highlands meet. The vastness, the lack of visible housing, the sheep, the quietness, had seemed to offer him a freedom that he could no longer have. That he no longer wanted.
Richard held in his hands the means of his deliverance, a small white bottle of sleeping pills that he had obtained whilst cleaning a pensioner's house. The cold biting wind whipped up as he struggled to open the bottle, which he recognised as an omen confirming that this was his means of extrication from his unending internal misery. He filled his mouth several times with this means of escape, washing them down with a bottle of Evian mineral water he had purchased from a middle aged lady, with soft soothing accent, in a small shop in the last hamlet he had driven through.
Once finished, he sat down, leaning against a thin damp tree and he smiled, the smile of someone who knows their private deeds will haunt them no more.
In front of him in the distance was his blue escort, parked carefully at the side of an old muddy track. A sheep walked up to him eating the moss and grass close to his feet, making him feel close to a living creature again. When it spotted him motionless, it bleated and ran off. The tepid sun broke through the clouds and shined on his face for one last time. He thought of me lying dying on the floor, stab wound in my neck, little Joseph screaming only yards away. That was the first shattering thing that had happened to him, the start of his miserable end.
What the police, my husband, my well wishers do not know, is that he loved me. That what he was doing was not the deed of a guilty man, but the actions of someone heart broken, someone helpless, someone who knew he would never be able to help or have me in his life.

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Comment by: - 2007-07-31 01:08
Add to Readers
      
Very sad story. I felt for Richard as well as the deceased. It reminds me of a short story by Stephen King I read years ago. Haunting...Good piece.
thecandystore Comment by: thecandystore - 2007-06-30 18:36
Add to Readers
      
I completely agree with the rest...it's well done - good images and emotion. I have nothing much to criticize here.

C
Rosie23 Comment by: Rosie23 - 2007-06-18 02:56
Add to Readers
      
yeah it's really good. You've put so much into this short piece. The title is also a really good "fit". I'll definitely read more of your stuff. that is, if you'll read mine? ;-) Oh, and "Ich bin ein Englander Hund" is German, but nice try! In proper Dutch: "Ik ben een Engelse hond"
brad19 Comment by: brad19 - 2007-06-02 22:49
Add to Readers
      
Very emotionally charged. Great imagery and overall tone. I loved it. Great piece of writing.
danielvlasaty Comment by: danielvlasaty - 2007-06-01 06:41
Add to Readers
      
dude...this was awesome, i really like the description and the way you make us feel sad for Richard even though we killed the woman he loved...it's very real
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


By Goatboy1974

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S