Exxon's gas station pharmaceuticals, yellow jacket speed and daggers

Somewhere in Barstow, on the way to Las Vegas, I pit stopped at a gas station for some refreshments and some caffeine to endure the longing road of solitude. I was on my way to the 'little big city'� to win back my ex. The break up was pretty bad. She said she would never talk to me again. I could not have that.

The Exxon silhouetted against the thin, dry desert air. It seemed to hover there in loneliness. To my surprise, it had all of the modern advancements, a credit card pay slot for those who want to gas n' go. I slid my visa card through the gas pay slot. The pay meter read all 8's. The credit card screen read, 'please try again. Please slide your card quickly.' Preparing for a Mexican standoff with this irritating pay slot, I drew my visa like a gunslinger. So much for fast service I thought. I went inside to pay the attendant.

Walking inside, I always thought about all the peculiar merchandise they served at gas stations. I grabbed a five 24oz 'Monster' drinks, quickly scanning the ingredients. I've drunk this stuff before, but I wanted to know what 'Taurine' was. Is this stuff FDA approved? What would happen if you were to drink 8 of these bad boys? So I grabbed three more.

Ohh yes! The ephedrine mini thin tablets. I remember abusing those when I was a teenager. Pop six of those and your hair felt like it was electrically charged. Tasted nasty though! They tasted mediciny, coated and lathered your throat with chalk-like ooze that didn't easily desist. Gross! I remember one didn't go down right and I had chased it down with beer, the last one stuck in my throat, my throat whipped and fretted like a loose guitar string, immediately up chucking the nasty substance. I use to take them because it made pornography so much more vivid.

And yes. Racks and racks of smut magazines.

Most tenants were ignorant of the merchandise they sold. They had no idea what medicinal purposes 'yellow jackets' served and were often oblivious to the fact that their store sold the basic ingredients needed for a meth lab.

I approached the counter. The tenant was middle- eastern, a stereotype that is unavoidable.

'The pay slot for'�uhh'�'� I had to veer my head to pinpoint the number location of my vehicle.

'number 2 is acting funny.'� I said.

'Yes, it has been acting funny for a while. I forgot to place an out of order sign'� which sounded like 'ourt def urder sign.'�

A display case of pot paraphernalia, bongs, one hitters, pipes, was on my left. It encased other odd assortments of widgets I could not identify. On the bottom of the display case was an antique dagger. It seemed out of place compared to the other stuff around it.

Behind the display case was a rack of CD's nobody would bother to buy. Michael Bolton and Kenny G were among the few.

Immediately perplexed by the thin little packages of herbal supplements before me, I just had to ask him.

'Horny Goat Weed? Does it live up to its name?'�


Surprised by my straight forwardness, he replied with a chuckle. I guess nobody ever summoned up the courage to ask him about it.

'I don't know its effects. But I hear that it was an herb discovered by a Chinese goat herder who had observed that after ingestion the Billies got rather friendly with the nannies.'�

I pictured the goat god Pan getting generous with some female satyrs.

I handed him my visa.

'You seem pretty informed. Where did you here that?'�

'On the Internet.'�

My eye caught some other aphrodisiac called 'Spanish Musk.'� Next to that were packaged brown pills that advertised 'Equal to Ten cups of coffee in one pill. You will never feel tired again.'�

And probably jittery and dysfunctional as well I scoffed.

'Spanish Musk? Does that work? I'm sorry to ask you all of this. I just find that gas stations sell the oddest things.'�

'It is no problem. It has been a long day anyway. No customers as you can tell.'�

He gladly commenced. 'Most of this stuff is sold in every gas station.'�

'Yes I know. I just wonder where it comes from.'�

'Well, most of this stuff is for truckers. Truckers have to travel about 1000 miles a day. And they get what you call 'truckers fatigue.' It is almost like cabin fever.'�

'Yeah, well I got a little bit of that fever myself.'�
'Girl troubles?'�

'Yes.'� Beads of perspiration slid down my face when I thought of her.

'Most people indulge in alcohol when they have girl troubles. Why caffeine?'�

Dutifully I said, 'I'm a recovering alcoholic. Haven't touched the stuff in two years.'�

My eyes fell on the display case again. The dagger was definitely no Cracker Jack prize. It appeared to be made of ivory. The ornaments on the handle flagged outwards with two sirens embedded in the detailing, their mouths opened with a beckoning call.

'That dagger in the display shelf'�'�

'Oh yes, I've had that for quite a while. When I am not working in this gas station I am also a scoutsman for antiquities. Mostly I deal with the local flea markets around here. But I have scouted overseas. I apprehended this object when I was in Greece. There is, of course, a story behind it. Apparently this dagger was created out of Eros's resentment toward Apollo for making fun of his archery skills. Out of anger, Eros caused Apollo to fall in love with the nymph Daphne. She scorned and rejected him. Apollo was so grief stricken, he stabbed her in the heart with a dagger. However, according to mythology, the story goes that Daphne actually prayed to the river god Peneus to turn her into a laurel tree. And that is when Apollo carved his passions into the tree. Whether the first story or the second story is true or not, it is said that Apollo's lust and pride and Eros's resentments were justified into that dagger.'�


'Interesting. You know what. I'll take it.'�

'I'm not a superstitious man you know. But it has never been sold in any of my flea markets. People seem to disregard or overlook it. That's why I have it encased here. Sort of as a memento. I'll sell it to you. Besides, I am surrounded enough by carnal indulgences already.'�

With the dagger in my hand, I was ready to regain the heart of my ex girlfriend.

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