A long list of failed attempts, at what? Of course at love! He now no longer believed in it, it had ignored him for too long. He was love's unloved child, a true abomination due to the fact that no matter how hard he tried, how original the romance was, how solid in his pursuit, he failed. And he failed miserably! Women just did not like him for some unknown reason to himself. The reasons were as plentiful as faces. He would not wash, never brushed his teeth, his feet were a celebration of fungal properties, he never for any reason would cut or comb his hair, and his clothing '¦ no comment. I myself would think some women who live in the same vein would love him, but no, no offers from any woman's heart.
It all began with a woman he met at college, it was cold but he felt the warmth of her presence. She was dark, dark like black metal, he wouldn't let this one, (as he had so many times before), walk out of his life. He made the common mistake of looking like a fool in front of a beautiful woman and with all his heart sang to her, she feigned amusement. They talked, she feigned amusement. He joked, she feigned amusement. The idiot believed she liked him, he was deeply infatuated. They did get to know each other and a certain type of care grew between them, no, of course not anything romantic from her. But the black fire of her eyes, the dark rasp of her voice, and the smoothness of her skin was overpowering. He was the type to concoct plans, fantastic machinations that always failed, numerous schemes in pursuit of the object of his dream. A master builder and this time he toppled all his earlier creations. He went around telling everyone he had built a ladder to heaven. Now this part of the city thought he was a fool, they passed off his scheme as another of his seeming magical feats but this time it was real magic. When younger his grandmother gave him the secret to finding him. Now this magical ladder led to the roof of his house and he had her climb it only to arrive at a letter. I have it here '¦

God is love '¦
Love is found in heart '¦
I find you there '¦

Such a simpleton. She felt like laughing but climbed down and told him she wanted to friends '¦ just friends. He was not too upset, his mind did not work like most, he went from one to another very quickly. He had already found another.
She was his teacher, and I tell you she could teach me whatever she wanted any day of the week. He didn't know she was as well being courteous, she was of course his teacher. He, the fool, brought an apple to school every day, answered every question, and earned an A to impress her, but once again he needed something special. She pitied him, to her he was a buffoon, drooling over her each time she crossed her legs, but of course he needed something special. He went around saying he invented a rose that never died. On her doorstep one day she found a dead rose and a note. Here it is '¦

The rose in my heart for you is eternal '¦

She gave him the cold shoulder. Anyways his eternal rose had ended, nothing but God last forever.
He finally performed his miracle. This is the last girl he chased after, and he was smitten '¦ badly. He met her in the hallway, she was wearing a beautiful dress. She was younger than him and she was full of life and happiness, sunshine and smiles. My God was she ever beautiful! She talked to him since she found him interesting, a first for him. She was a bright light to him, everything about her was unique, and she was a saint. He tried everything in his power to woo her. Every romantic notion that came to mind he fulfilled, but the prophecy never was. She told him honestly she only wanted to be friends. After this he had no new cure to his ailment, but a new ailment, a broken heart.
His miracle was that he purposely turned water into wine and got extremely drunk.

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