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amullett
Amber Mullett
United States, North Carolina, Granite Falls

Words: 1738
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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The Meadow Portrait

"Tell me again Grandma," pleaded little Bethany, "tell me about the painting."

"Again? But its time for bed Darling," replied Jane, tucking her spirited angel into bed.

"Pleaaase, I love the story."

"Oh alright," she finally agreed and nestled under a quilt blanket draped over a near-by rocking chair. Relaxing her aching back, she turned her eyes to the portrait above the bed and asked a serious question, "Do you see that girl in the portrait? The one with the pink dress and curls?"

"Of course Grandma. She's so pretty with her long yellow hair."

Janie nodded, "her hair is like yours Dear," she stroked Beth's tousled blonde hair as she wiggled under the blanket. "What about the meadow? The girl is setting in front of a window with a meadow in the background. You see?"

"Yep, it looks cold out there," she hugged herself and said, "the girl looks so sad. Why is she sad Grandma?"

Grandma didn't answer but continued anyways, "Well, this girl was about sixteen. See, her father always wanted a son but was never blessed with one so she, the youngest of three became is son, his pride and joy. She could hunt and shoot a gun better than any of the other boys in their small country town. She was brave, strong and stubborn - like a boy should be - but she soon grew up and became a young lady whom Daddy was ashamed of. He didn't blame her for her outlandish behavior but blamed himself - he pressured her into acting like a boy and not a proper lady."

"She was at marrying age but no respectable enough young man in the town wanted her. Not that she cared anyways. All the young men disliked her as a lady but saw her as a boy, one who was up to par to compete in a foot race contest."

"That was how she liked it. She didn't want to marry, to act proper, to fall in love and do her womanly duties. She wanted to be free until he came into town..."

"Was he cute Grandma? He gots to be cute," asked little Bethany, nearly jumping off her bed.

"Clam down child," said Janie, pulling the blanket back over her. "That's how the story goes. He was very handsome; Daniel, I believe was his name," she answered once Bethany settled down. "Now where was I --- oh yes, he came into town and everything changed for her. She suddenly found herself wearing dresses, and frilly ones at that, and brushing her hair everyday became a must."

"He was about twenty and found work on her daddy's farm as an extra hand for the Harvest season. She didn't know much about him but knew he was the one. They kept their romance a secret for weeks, for months, until it all came shattering down."

"It was late one night and her father caught her and the ranch hand, umm - lightly kissing - all alone," she said, stumbling over her words; her ten year old too young to know the whole indecent truth to what 'kissing' really meant. Still, just saying 'kissing' excited Bethany, who burst into girlishly giggles at the statement.

"May I continue Dear?" Janie asked, laughing along with the child.

She nodded fiercely up and down, stifling her laughs.

Janie grinned and continued, "Well, her daddy was very upset and her forbade her to ever see him again but of course she refused to listen. Every night she would sneak out of her house and meet up with Danny at an abandon shack in her father's lone meadow. See, this meadow was for grazing cows and was completely deserted of people at night," Janie explained, taking a deep breath, rocking herself as she spoke.

"The ranch hand found another job with the neighbor next door and soon the entire town knew that the mayor's daughter and lowly ranch hand were - coupling..."

"Coupling?" the child asked, her face frowning, thinking.

"Coupling - well," she spoke too soon but said gently, "well, everyone knew they had kissed and they all talked about it."

Bethany nodded and grinned, staying silent.

"Since the whole town knew, even less offerings for her hand was being made and her father feared his soiled daughter would never wed."

"During the day, she was miserable, for she had to wait for nightfall to see her beloved again. One boring morning, her quiet mother forced her to have her portrait taken in hopes of conveying what beauty and innocence she had left in the picture. So she was painted in front of a window of the girl's choosing and had a traveling artist recreate the cow pasture and the meadow in the background."

"You said she looked sad in the picture Beth, well yes, she was very sad and lonesome. The picture proved it," said Janie, staring at the old portrait, painted nearly a half-century ago.

"The following night, she met him again in the same abandon shack in the same lonely meadow. They agreed to runaway and be together forever. They would meet again at midnight the next night to make their escape. Everything was planned; they'd sneak away from the watchful eyes of the nosey town and hitch a ride or walk to the neighboring town and catch a train to anywhere, they didn't care."

"The day passed slowly but finally the full moon was high in the sky as they secretly meet; she was disguised as a stable boy and feared she was making a mistake but with one look into Danny's warm eyes, she knew her heart was with him."

"He too was nervous, wanting to leave as quickly as possible, but delayed the escape in order to give her a gift attached with a promise; they vowed to live for each other forever, away from the tyranny of their little town, and live happily until their dying breath, and with this vow of love he gave her a locket, with both of their pictures inside. She treasured this gift, for he spent almost everything he had to buy it. It was the last thing he ever gave her."

"Leaving the town was the hard part, for every alley had eyes that glared, but they succeeded and spent the darkest part of the night walking along dirt road for hours. Almost near daybreak but still dark, a car finally gave them a lift. She thought she recognized the car but with the haze, she couldn't be sure. She ignored her feelings for she was tired; she may have been the fastest foot-racer in town but going non-stop for hours was exhausting. So they hitched the ride and in the backseat they fell asleep."

"The driver, wearing all black, drove in silence and took a detour outside from either town. He stopped the car and the masked man dragged the sleeping Danny kicking from the car. She panicked and jumped out, watching the two wrestle. His mask was jerked off during the struggle and she couldn't believe her eyes."

"It was her father!'

"She soon began to cry and begged her father but he refused. Young Danny told her to not to beg, he would deal with this like a man. She cried as her daddy took out his gun. Instinctually, she lunged at her dad's back and fought with him, trying to get the gun. He shoved her to the ground and Danny, racing to her side, was shot. She watched it all, happening in slow motion it seemed, as he stumbled forward and fell to the ground. She saw his face, his beautiful pale face, as she crawled to him. She held him in her arms as he took his last breathe grasping on to the locket as his eyes shut for good'¦ Loving her was his downfall and it cost him his life," Janie added, her tone sad and frail.

Bethany had tears in her eyes that Janie softly wiped away. Knowing she wouldn't have it any other way, she continued with the story.

"Her father pulled her from the dead man's grasp as she hit and smacked him, crying uncontrollably. She yelled and screamed and cried as her father shoved her back in the car. They left Danny there in the middle of the abandon road and drove back home."

"His body was found days later and her father, the respected mayor, resided over the funeral and said kind words on Danny's behalf. Only she knew the truth and clutching the locket around her neck during the service, she knew what she must do. She must keep the promise she made to him in the shack the night he died."

"And she did. She walked the miles on the same road and caught a train to somewhere the following morning. All she took with her was the locket and the portrait that she felt strangely connected to. The locket symbolized their love and the portrait represented the misery that love caused. Keeping the misery, she remembered why she left her family and the life she once knew because of a promise, for love and freedom."

As the story concluded, Bethany yawned, growing sleepy; adoring the portrait that hung above her bed, the story her Grandma told fit it perfectly.

Janie smiled and kissed her goodnight. Leaving the bedroom, she glanced at the picture one more time, seeing the meadow in the background with a small black dot in the center of it. She believed that the dot was the old shack placed there as a mistake by the painter. She suddenly stroked her neck, feeling of the locket beneath her hands, remembering Daniel all those years ago. She smiled at the memory as tears trickled down her face, closing the door behind her.

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Comments  
logicustracticus Comment by: logicustracticus - 2007-05-23 07:43
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See couple of point I saw have been mentioned earlier, the change from Daniel to danny...(yes I realise because of ending) perhaps change later on rather than almost immediatly, some of the language/phrasing seems bit to grandiose for story telling to child "she was soiled/outlandish behaviour" spring to mind.... But a interesting tale never the less
ThePenguin Comment by: ThePenguin Online- 2007-05-22 15:11
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Some "finger errors"...
"so she, the youngest of three became <<is>> son" ?his?

"She could hunt and shoot a gun better than any of the <<other>> boys"
Drop the word - it distracts.

"She was at marrying age but no respectable <<enough>> young man in the town wanted her." word not needed.

"All the young men disliked her as a lady but saw her as a boy, one who was up to par to compete in a foot race contest." This is rather clumsy - find another way of expresing it.

"Was he cute Grandma?" a comma before Grandma.
"<<He gots>> to be cute," Ummm - ?he's got?

"<<Clam>> down child," ?Calm?

"until it all came shattering down." Word choice, here - I get the idea, but it doesn't sound or look right.


"with Danny at an <<abandon>> shack in her father's <<lone>> meadow" ?Abandoned? Not sure why you'd insert the word "lone". If it was his only meadow, why would he hire a field hand?


"that the <<mayor's>> daughter and lowly ranch hand were" Ummm... this is a new twist that you are introducing. It should be stated earlier, if you want the father's importance to be part of the story - the ranking belongs in the set-up, not all of a sudden introduction.


"The driver, wearing all black, drove in silence and took a detour outside from either town. He stopped the car and the masked man dragged the sleeping Danny kicking from the car. She panicked and jumped out, watching the two wrestle. His mask was jerked off during the struggle and she couldnā??t believe her eyes."

Lots of action, but would they have got into the car if they'd seen a masked man? Sleeping AND kicking? She's asleep, but she panicked and jumped out? See the problem with the paragraph?

"the middle of the <<abandon>> road and drove back home." the word doesn't fit, even as ?abandoned? Maybe ?seldom-used? or ?deserted? or something similar...


"her father, the respected mayor, <<resided>> over the funeral".. ?presided? or something else...

"As the story <<concluded>>, Bethany yawned, <<growing sleepy;>> <<adoring the portrait that hung above her bed, the story her Grandma told fit it perfectly>>."
?ended? - less pretentious that way.
"growing sleepy" - not needed - the yawing says this in the first place.
the rest... not really necessary, but clumsy as it stands. No suggestion on how to fix it.

The last paragraph... The reader has already reached this conclusion. You don't need to state it so completely. Maybe, just a hint: "She touched the locket still hanging around her neck as she closed the door, remembering Daniel as a tear drop moved down her face." or something along those lines.

Hop this helps - a very nice little story, very touching.
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By amullett

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