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America
Here we have no masters
beating innocent and abiding slaves
but here in this great country of prosperity
there are men clad in purple
with a feather in their hat.
They strive to beat lowly women,
with a grin full of gold,
who didn't make the quota
after a long night of whoring.
Here in America
people are losing jobs
to those less fortunate over seas
who work for fewer wages in order to make a cent.
With businesses moving away
foreign children are put to work
for long hours and pennies on the American dollar.
Why are Americans loosing their livelihood;
why are they homeless and starving?
Why are Americans,
with an every so-called opportunity,
dying
when their last chance is stripped away?
But this isn't happening here,
they say.
But just look around
and believe it or not,
we're funding the abuse.
So Land of the Free,
I wonder how people
are still falling for your tricks.
I don't see how they believe you're free,
and thanks to your lies and persecution,
we fall into the black abyss of greed and insanity.
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This poem pushes buttons, and that's a good thing. Making people think and get out of their comfort zone is something I enjoy doing, and having done to me.
Couple of things... first, you might want to think about putting "with a grin full of gold," in parenthesis, or rewording it. It almost feels like you're referring to the 'lowly' women (and I know that's not the case). I'm not sure I like the word lowly either... if that is the narrators view, it feels inappropriate, if it's the pimp's view, that works.
One more small thing. I don't know if you are familiar with the documentary series '30 days' by Morgan Spurlock or not, but recently I watched one of his episodes that featured a man in the call centre business who lost his position due to outsourcing to India. He was extremely bitter and angry, until he spent 30 days in India. As bad as things are in North America, we take much for granted. Our poverty level would be considered middle class (or better) in many parts of the world.
That said, I did enjoy the controversy and some of the visceralness of this poem. |
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I liked parts of this. Very controversial subject matter, which isn't a bad thing, just thought I would point it out. I like your connection between slave owners and pimps. The only thing that kind of threw me off was the line that here we have no masters beating slaves. Well, we did which doesn't make us much better than people who still do. This is just my personal opinion, so feel free to do with it what you want.
I agree with you that Americans have an isolationist mindframe. IT's US against THEM and THEM is everybody! But we are definitely apart of what is happening out there to them, but it is easiest to ignore all of the injustice. This is getting off the subject of your poem, but it inspired thoughts in me and isn't that the best thing you can say about a piece of writing? |
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