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TOGETHER IN THEIR OWN ABSENCE
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Jan. 9th, 2005 | 03:59 am
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I thought of you when
I was a thought in your
And you were a thought in my
And your thought and my thought
together these two thoughts began
to begin a third thought to share between
Share out between us, the two of us
we watch our thought dance
we dance with it (we love it)
that thought
we love it
and it dances
just as we are dancing
it stops and
now it is a question
and we both answer
each in our own
good
time
"Yes"
or
"No"
How does the story end?
It ends with this simple thought
Thoughts are objects
dancing with each other
together in their own absence
Thoughts are objects
dancing with each other
together
in their own absence
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Correct me if I am wrong. I am walking awaying from this poem with the idea that thoughts are never independent of one another and they are a collaboration of a never ending cycle of thoughts that obviously have a great impact upon human existence. I hope that is it because I love the way you wrote this. My poetry is narrative but I sometimes think and write along these lines. Keep it up; I like what you're doing. I can hear the echo. Get back to me on this ok? btw, when you read mine please don't worry about my feelings, I want honesty. chao
I'm not really sure about this one. What are the thoughts absent from? I'm confused, and so I don't really feel like I can give a proper critique. Please let me know.
