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my dandelion meadows
preventing subjective deliverance
encased in freedom of doubt
I live, yet faint of breath
tomorrow be comfort, be death
subjected to society & self
I planted a seed of a dandelion
sowed in meadows of wheat
so pretty, so bitter to eat
it dances with spores on my tongue
a chaser, yes - bring it on now!
no chaser, no comfort, no pity
for a dandelion sower in this city
allow me I beg, allow me to cut
to clean those meadows of wheat
restore, replenish, yet savor
... the dandy-lying
it adds, did you know - so much flavor!
steve shearer / jan 21-2006
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| Thank you for your comment, JJ. And yes, you are right about the 1st line. Guess I need to change that. Everything else was intentional. |
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| The wordplay is great fun, and I love the idea of a liar justifying his actions by saying the lies add flavor (did I read that right?). Having two "ing" words at the very start was hard for me to read. Was the first, "Preventing," a gerund, and the second, "subjecting," an adjective? Grammatically, I don't get it. Am I being obtuse? Also, I wasn't sure if the each stanza was a complete unit. Having no period or other end mark, other than within the third stanza and at the end of the fourth, I wasn't sure if they continuted into the next stanza or not. Perhaps this lack of definition is intentional, as with lies where the falsehood is so intermingled with the lie it's hard to discern. |
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| The flow in this is wonderful. Light and swift. I enjoyed reading this. |
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| Thanks, everyone! Yah, I enjoyed manipulating the wordplay in this piece. |
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| This is incredibly superb writing, look forward to reading more of your work. |
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