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Licence "Karjon's Wee Stories Challenge#2"
this is my submission for karjon's Wee Stories Challenge#2. had to be exactly 100 words. enjoy.
http://www.editred.com/index.php/My_Ink/Bulletin/Show/6387
"Licence"
This burlap sack is everything we've ever wanted. All the disconcerting urges we don't dare speak of, are too scared to admit.
Stay reticent. Don't think of the piebald fur.
Traverse this humid morning forest looking for something. For the river.
This burlap sack is just as wrong as it gets because, to me, there isn't anything wrong with it. Nothing wrong at all, right?
Stop it.
Stay taciturn. Pay no mind to the tiny sounds within.
....Actually.
On second thought - when I get to the river I'll untie this burlap sack, free the kittens, and throw myself in instead.
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damn.. this is rock solid. every word in its place.
terse. which- some people call it writing properly. lol.
i do.
Stay reticent. Don't think of the piebald fur.
//nice.
On second thought - when I get to the river I'll untie this burlap sack, free the kittens, and throw myself in instead.
//wow.. stroong voice.
this is great work. i really liked it.
bravo..
(@>
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Angel Vs Demon in a fight for the lives of cute kitties...Which by the way 'I'm in no mood for' hehe *wink
Hey remember that one time you were a complete showoff...haha that was awesome.
I hope you win the challenge or whatever it is or was.
J* |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-05-30 16:03
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Sheesh - that's a bloody huge story for 100 words.
You got all phylosophical - and yet, in the end, no animals were harmed in the construction of this story.
So - buried feelings and desires, drowned emotions and senses... but in the end, it's better to lose yourself than to give up. That's what I thought - but I frequently get things wrong... and this is probably just a story about a guy with some disposable cats.
Loved reading it, whatever your intent.
Thanks for taking the challenge.
Cheers
Karen |
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Neat. The concept hearkens back to Hemingway's six-word short story. That's a fun one to do.
I imagine the protagonist as a small, sensitive fellow with a bellowing, domineering father. On a farm sometime during the Great Depression. Very evocative piece. Best of luck with your submission. |
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