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JoanneMitch37
Joanne Mitchinson
United Kingdom, Merseyside, Liverpool

My Bookshop
Words: 89
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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Into Darkness.....

Into Darkness'¦.

Into darkness
Coming from light,
Sharing daytime,
Sharing the night,
Fighting passion,
Coz passion is need,
Living with reason,
Coz reason is deed.
Holding on to you,
Never letting go,
Keeping you with me,
Watching love grow.
Taking forever,
Tearing it apart,
Giving my feelings,
Giving my heart.
Now when you leave me,
And I am alone,
The truth is inside me,
Look how we have grown.
Stop this deception,
Come into the light,
I need you with me,
To win this great fight.

© - J. Mitchinson 2006

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Comments  
SacredV Comment by: SacredV - 2007-08-19 18:31
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This poem flows very well. Great usage of word and expression. It made me interested in more of your work.
anarchistbanjo Comment by: anarchistbanjo - 2007-07-11 14:26
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Nice to see some rhyme poetry once in a while. My comment and I've done it myself is the conception of teenage angst poetry. Putting words to the pain felt when a love goes wrong. Healing stuff and needed. The question is it creative or simply a transformation of pain into words? Not that either is righ or wrong. Simply an observation. I'd be interested in reading other poems to find out.
GLWard Comment by: GLWard - 2007-07-11 12:21
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Now, this is the type of poetry i like. It flows perfectly from one line to the next, and gives a clear message. Great job with it.
wMichaelAnthony Comment by: wMichaelAnthony - 2007-07-11 11:30
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I like the message. It's a very passionate verse. I'd like to offer a critique, after all that's what this site is for, but I'm afraid that, with poems like yours, I can't offer any. There are a few things I would've done differently but there are no actual mistakes. I don't see that it's my place to express what I would've done because, simply put, it's not my work. I like it... end of story.
JeffreyB Comment by: JeffreyB - 2007-06-13 23:49
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I don't know the "rules of poetry" well enough to criticize, but my general impression of poetry is that people often try too hard and that is evident in many poems. This one however, really captured my interest substantively. I liked the pace and the rhyme a lot. Great job.

-Jeff
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