I've been thinking about this topic for quite sometime. What re-ignited my thought process and curiosity on the subject was when I met up with an old friend who recently became a newlywed. We were discussing the usual thing old friends do when they haven't seen each other for quite sometime: life, love, reminiscing about key moments that sat in the back of our minds such as an embarrassing trip or fall, career goals (or lack thereof) and plans for the future. The subject of relationships came up in our conversation.

I found myself comparing how relationships were back in the '50s and '60s versus today. I have come to the conclusion that we are spoiled rotten when it comes down to relationships. We tend to want and expect more and selfishly act in our own best interests without even considering the fact that our actions will affect not only ourselves, but our partners as well. It's a lot of work trying to live your life as "us" and "we" as opposed to just "I". I look at the sorry state of affairs as the divorce rate increases every year. Whatever happened to longevity? Whatever happened to when the going gets tough? Whatever happened to honoring commitments? Although, there are exceptions to this rule ' what do you do when after the love is gone or when your mate cheats and decides to treat you like a car trade-in? Do you stick it out? Can you truly forgive and forget?

Living in the now and loving ferociously with your whole heart is only half the battle and sometimes that's our only guarantee. There will be times when your mate does something you don't approve of like constantly leave the toilet seat up, spend money on an item that it is only worn once, chew with their mouth open, fart in their sleep, leave unmentionables laying out in open view. These little quirks provide not only a challenge for your mentality (that is if you are a closeted perfectionist), but also it adds a certain dimension to a relationship that doesn't necessarily have to be a negative. It should never question why you decided to be with this person. If you truly love that individual, these quirks are only trivial.

I ask my mother, who will have been married to my dad 48 years come January, how does she do it? How have they lasted all this time? My mother told me, "Jerod ' your father is an old-fashioned man. Despite the fact that he whines and complains about me taking him to the store and getting him to try on new clothes, he does it for me and despite the fact I whine and complain about him getting me to see that old dilapidated house his mother owned to show me his remodeling work, I do it for him. We keep giving and taking in our relationship. It's never one-sided. He surprises me daily with little things. He acknowledges my presence. He hugs me when I've had a bad day. He brings me my favorite food with no questions asked. It's love ' and a whole lot of patience because he can get on my nerves."

SIDE NOTE: I don't put myself out there as a "relationship guru" as these thoughts are strictly my opinion. This is only an observation as it appears to me that the perfect relationship is a myth. It's a challenge to divorce yourself from your current situation (whether you are footloose and fancy free or adjoined to the hip with a certain amount of freedom) and observe as an outsider. If you're in a happy and committed relationship, live each moment like it's going to be your last. In my 32 years of living and loving ferociously with my whole heart, I'm slowly realizing that living in the now is the way to go ' that way there are no expectations and you are not setting yourself up for disappointment.

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