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Triple-Berry Pie
Triple-Berry Pie
Halfway / sideways,
drunken, oil-slick spin.
You touch soft skin.
An obvious sin?
Open field,
swaying grass: thigh-high.
Skirts lifted as
sky drifts somewhere,
ending, stopping cold,
in a berry-blue,
waterfall clear and desert dry.
With toothpick opened eyes,
see its box? Are you shaken by
its upwards lid?
Shall your unsteady hands seal it?
Press down and in hard to stamp it?
Seek cowardice, perhaps fire,
ferocious enough to send the authenticity of it?
For once, you are not tricking fate
with misguided ignorance!
And I once believed your height
strong, proud, and great.
Every day I would gravitate.
Silken-spun, golden-stitched,
unstuck from your web, yet still not free.
Shadowed by miles,
you had driven far too long
concealing your now-opening honesty.
Every object, including vast and empty space,
is held tight with fibers - has its own layers and seams.
Wild-green money, consumed, exchanged,
will have its own same price to pay.
And light is light - shines today.
Tomorrow has a bitter taste.
Light remains light, too bright now,
to guide our way.
I will wait for the moon,
Yet will you wait for the night?
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| There is a sadness to this poem. Something lost and, it seems to me, something which cannot be recovered. A love that was full of fire but has died out. I don't know for sure; I could be wrong. I like the poem, though. |
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Comment by: anis - 2007-06-29 06:13
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| We have similar names: Anis, Anais, which is what initially attracted me to your page. Your use of language is very smooth and wonderfully free flowing. I just wonder whether the symbolism you employ isn't a bit too obvious. You might want to obfuscate it slightly, as by eliminating phrases like "skirts lifted" from the verse. I may of course be all wrong about this so feel free to ignore this comment and stick with the ones above. |
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Comment by: foxfyre - 2007-06-13 18:14
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And I once believed your height
strong, proud, and great.
Every day I would gravitate.
Silken-spun, golden-stitched,
unstuck from your web, yet still not free.
Shadowed by miles,
you had driven far too long
concealing your now-opening honesty
I am drawn to these words in particular, but the entire peice is a wonderful read. |
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I must confess I love berries (especially blueberries) so that in part got my immediate attention. But revisiting your life's expression put to verse is always my biggest draw. This illustrates some powerful emotion, gravity and a demand for resolution. I like your mixture of rhyme--it isn't done with too much intention, but flows into the poem's body naturally. Starting rhyming verse here expresses an initially firm stance, later becoming freer and more emotionally unbound along with the verse. My own experience sums up in close alignment with these two lines:
"And light is light - shines today.
Tomorrow has a bitter taste." |
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Comment by: Beck Online- 2007-06-06 14:58
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I wouldn't want you to change this Jessica. Like zionflower I really like the first four rhyming lines as well but I like that you haven't continued the rhyme. It's like a short reflection before the main body of thought that's behind the poem... a short prologue; I think it works fine on its own. The third stanza is especially beautiful and the ending...
"I will wait for the moon,
Yet will you wait for the night?"
Good stuff that is.
Dan |
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