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As gisters terugkom
Sedertdien
(dood menslik)
omgang
met gekaste geraamtes:
'n koddige knal
lê onbeholpe twyfel
bloot;
in siedende swoelte
as frats
van sinne en
voorbehoud verkul;
sporadies mik
skommel
geknak'¦
***
When yesterdays return
Since
(perfectly human)
communion
with closeted skeletons:
a comic clap
leaves helpless doubt
bare;
in seething sultriness
as freak
from sense and
reserve swindled;
sporadically aim
wobble
crack'¦
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I like the staccato feeling as I am reading the poem and the title is quite intriguing.
If I were to read deeply into the English translation, I would interpret the piece
The word communion in the first stanza baffles me somewhat. I originally envisaged the subject sharing some sort of sacrament with the dead, but otherwise there is a close dialogue with the subject and the issues that are veiled from others. It's like someone being able to bear a relationship to their hidden history, by drawing forth the ideas and utters of the hidden unconscious.
The second stanza...hmmm this is a hard one. The exclamation of the clapping action, to my mind conjures up an abrupt action or a rapid change of events to draw out fear. As doubt is a form of fear of the self or the inability to reveal the truth or existance of any one thing. To know what this doubt refers to I need more of a context...so I read on!
The third stanza illustrates a glimpse of the subject's madness: seething sultriness...a repressed passion. 'As freak from sense'. Could this mean a deviant that is far removed from the norms of sensory perception (hallucinations, seeing things, battling against himself). Or does sense mean a regulator of behaviour. Reserve swindled: saneness taken away, or the diminishing of his capacity to be lucid and coherent.
The final stanza with the sporadic aiming delves more into the incoherency of this man's mind (hence his senses). The wobble could be the physical and metaphorical action of this man's downfall and crack may be a metaphor for the man's mind broken beyond 'repair'.
So maybe that the subject of this poem deals with a man who is able to understand the repercussions of his past (which may not be so pleasant), but the chronic self analysis of his hidden thoughts accentuate doubt in his ability to remain sane. I see the portrayal of a man who tries to calculate his secrets, only for fear to envelop him very gradually. His autonomy over his thoughts (of which he is able to understand and acknowledge) crumbles leaving his mind broken.
This is my interpretation of a very captivating riddle. |
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Hi guys. Thank you for the comments.
To answer about translation. When I translate I try to keep it as close to the original as humanly possible. I do however choose the words carefully and if the direct translation does not have the same, shall I say, power, I look for alternatives. This could however distort the original meaning intended. This is why I cannot place a lot of my poems on here as I find it impossible to translate. Where I used, for instance, conventions such as alliteration in my Afrikaans poem, I try to do the same with the English. It sometimes leaves me wondering about certain words for hours.
What this poem means. It has indeed got a very definate meaning however I prefer leaving the interpretation to the reader. |
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Comment by: - 2007-06-06 02:45
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| I think that yes poetry can translate perfectly well between languages....that doesnt mean i know what this means....Interesting... |
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Comment by: alien - 2007-06-05 15:46
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This is interesting.
I am curious about your translations:
Do you simply translate straight into english with no regard for what the words become, or do you think about it and perhaps change the words to increase the tonal flow of the english piece?
I ask this because the english versions always seem so polished and if you are simply translating, it must be a high skill on your part to make it sounds so good in BOTH languages :D
I hope that still sounds like a compliment - it is meant as one, but when I read it back, I wasn't sure if it still sounded like one :S
My head hurts now DX |
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