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Audiogeist
Sharon Harriott
United Kingdom, London

Words: 440
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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Club Island/Gula: Ripleym Challenge #2

Lola tripped over the ragged carpet, spilling her pint of vodka down her arm. The liquid dripped off her elbow and onto her skirt as she plonked herself onto a stool next to her two friends. Both were in deep conversation with the two men who'd joined them earlier. She looked from the blond goofy one to the balding one with the moustache, and then let her eyes rove around the rest of the room.

Cigarette smoke gave the bar a foggy quality. The spotlights in the ceiling looked like they were ringed with halos; similar to how she'd viewed the sun through water earlier that day.

She'd gone diving ' she was a strong swimmer and loved being in the water. So, while the girls had protested, preferring to drink Bacardi Breezers by a swimming pool, she'd gone on the trip by herself, drinking her Breezers on a boat with strangers, and then diving into the sea, just as the sun started to dip towards the horizon.

On the way back to the resort, there'd been drinking games. One guy had run in circles, his head on the broom stick and then staggered to starboard. He just made it in time to puke over the side. Later, she'd retched as she tried to take a bite out of an apple that hung in the air between them. He'd managed to slip his hand under her bikini top while she was distracted ' setting everyone roaring with laughter. He had vomit caught in the stubble on his cheek.

She suddenly saw him walk in to the bar. Being late evening, it was buzzing. Drinkers were ordering bar food that came out on platters hot and inviting. The smell of chips and something spicy wafted through the smoky air. Already drunk, a few people were torn between hovering over the food, and going to the bar for another large one.

'All Right?'¯ His pink t-shirt had a little crocodile on it. She smiled, knowing that if she spoke, she'd have to do it slowly. He'd washed his face, or the vomit had simply fallen off. Whichever, it was gone.

'Want another one? I'll get you another one!'¯ He gestured to one of the friends at his elbow. 'Oi Rick, get the lady another one of those will ya?'¯

Lola didn't see her friends leave, but Jeff swore an oath to see her safely home. At his apartment, she marvelled at how cool her blistered toes felt on the cold marble floor.

She didn't notice it at all on her cheek though.

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Comments  
ripleym Comment by: ripleym - 2007-06-10 13:16
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I like that I am left wondering at the end of this. Rohipnol, hit from behind, drunk to excess? It could be anything, but the point is she has definitely been guilty of gluttony so I guess she deserves it :)

Great read, and a strong, punchy ending.

One tiny point:

rove - roam? Minor quibble and JMO.

Thanks, Mike.
JMBratton Comment by: JMBratton - 2007-06-10 13:04
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I've known a few Lola's...very nice short-short.
PhoenixTPA Comment by: PhoenixTPA - 2007-06-10 05:31
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You have painted a very detailed, sad picture of what alcohol can do to people. I can visualize her passed-out on the cold marble floor; I do NOT miss my partying days one bit :-D
I also love the description of halos appearing around the lights in the bar. Your imagery in this piece is impeccable.

D.K.
solaris Comment by: solaris - 2007-06-09 13:59
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crikey - vodka by the pint.

is it just me, or did that ending hint of death by alcohol poisoning? maybe she was simply passed out, but the marble, specifically, brought to mind tombstones.

i really liked your:

The spotlights in the ceiling looked like they were ringed with halos; similar to how sheā??d viewed the sun through water earlier that day.

if anyone's looked up at the sun through water, it's fascinating. sad, cold read summing up how so many young girls (and lads) get wasted holidaying.
Ash19640 Comment by: Ash19640 - 2007-06-08 20:15
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Nice job. Those Bacardi Breezers will do it every time ! You paint such a strong picture of carefree abandon that the ending is a perfect shock. 'cold marble floor' is the 'throwaway' line that speaks volumes and yes, emptiness is the feeling that you've captured at the end. Well done.
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