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Chambered Sōl
REPOSE
ayliffe paid
to make release
of all dreams and desires
beyond ties and obligations
lying flat
afloat
in warm waters
gravely entombed
and coffin confined
don't mind
lids closing
blotting out the world
while true self seen
demasked
mind wide open
last life leaving
old soul sealed
shut
DARK
dwelling pervasive
in this viscous void
sparks alight
dancing dizzy trails
these fairy motes
become
nebulae shimmering
exotic-hypnotic fog forms
but all false lights
finally flicker
then fade to grey
ghosting
gone
SILENCE
mutes this vacuum, yet
I
still hear
echoes of converse
words eerily coalesce
then decay
a sudden deathly spasm
SPLASH
water rings resolving
dissolving
at last
knowing
sometimes silence
is the sweetest sound
...still here?
NUMB
corpus moistly cradled
mostly insensate
all but unaware
except where base elements
meet naked nerve clusters
at nape of neck
pit of arms, barefoot soles
fingertips, groin
stubbornly aroused
tingling pin pricks
tickling feather brushes
fickly felt but soon forgotten
in limbo's tepid embrace
all parts become a part
of this tomb
this womb
this null
between
MIND
now haunted with dreams past
and returning
till penance paid
resolved
released
memories forgotten
past pissed away
into emptiness
leaving only stubborn organs
pumping blood, bile, air
'thump-thump-thump, whoosh'
then even these are lost
into a blissful space
blessed void
letum
LIGHT
blinded-confused-confounded
lids open wide
babbling flood of voices
incomprehensibly mingling
newly born
I
CRY OUT!
at this raw world
rejoining the cacophony
of suffering and joy
of being
alive
NOTE: This was written as an experiential piece on two topics; the earthly experience of a sensory deprivation chamber and the philosophical study of rebirth. Thanks for the comments. (Definitions: "Ayliffe" is a medieval practice of paying the church for the soul's redemption; "Corpus" is one's entire body or the entirety of a written work; "Letum" is a Latin word for death personified.
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| Wonderful comments; I am constantly humbled by the wisdom and insight of the writer's on the forum. I've finished (is there such a thing?) this excursion--with substantial changes thanks to my peers. The experiment here was to have the stansas stand (I hope you'll agree) as individual poems or in a series for the work's entirety. |
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Comment by: champagne Online- 2007-06-15 07:04
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Thanks for that PA. I had an idea that it was something like blackmail and I imagine was a great source of income for the local clergy if not the holy see. No wonder it is so vital for the church to promulgulate the idea of an immortal soul and eternal damnation, if we don't have faith in life after death why would anyone pay?
I digress.
This poem is incredibly rich in imagery and layered impressions:
"but for stubborn fingertips and groin
where base elements meet"
(would this have roused my baser ideas had you instead talked of shoulder blades and heels?)
You show amazing skill in word play:
"fog forms false lights finally flicker"
(This alliteration and some of the other strings in the poem would seem excessive but for your clever line breaks...
fog forms
false lights
finally flicker
You neatly disguise it and give our eyes a break even if our lips don't get one.)
It IS fairly well finished and I'm glad I had the chance to read it.
Carrie. |
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| The Latin play on words in your title is clever; Sōl / Soul > your first stanza is very substantial, almost sublime; in fact your two topics are 'self-contained' within it. Spinnekop's observation about less=more is spot on. The sensory deprivation is vividly described & the mind's inability to switch off and relax, in this poem, is realistic. I tried a float tank once. It was the most self-conscious experience of my life & I'm certain that someone else's 'past' was indeed 'pissed away' into that water! |
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| Ayliffe is the payment made to the clergy, in medieval times, to ensure a soul's redemption. It's meant here metaphorically as a mindset, a sense of peace. |
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Comment by: champagne Online- 2007-06-14 21:07
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| Before I can continue, I need to know what you are talking about when you use "ayliffe". I can't find a reference on line.. I may need to go into my myth and fable dictionary... |
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