High school was horrible for me. I never found my place. I never fit in. I was closer in high school than I had ever been before, but I never quite got things to go the way I wanted them to. I hated that I had to get up every morning and go. I hated that I wasn't popular. Of course, I had myself convinced that I didn't care about being popular, but EVERYONE wants to be liked -- or at least well-known. Even still, when it came time to leave high school, I had to be dragged out, kicking and screaming (figuratively).

It is definitely a comfortable place for most people -- even if it is UNcomfortable. The reason it is comfortable is this: High school is where most people first begin to form the person that they will be for the rest of their lives. The miniature society that forms in high school begins to separate us from our peers.

First, we begin to take different classes. We begin to choose our own individual path -- one that is no longer necessarily the same as all of our friends.

Second, the social groups that began to form in childhood become even clearer -- nerds and drama kids and athletes and band kids and tough guys and punk rockers and star wars/metallica sub-dorks and all the other majillion possible groups. Every school has several of these groups, and almost every single student -- something like 99.5% -- fits into one (or more) of the groups. These groups are caricatures of social groups that will continue in adult life, so the groups in which we find ourselves during high school usually go a long way toward determining to which groups we will belong later in life.

Third, we develop deeper relationships with people outside our families, and fall away from some of our childhood friends. In elementary school, most people are friends with kids in their own class (usually less than 40 kids). In middle/junior high school, we begin to CHOOSE our friends from the entire student population. In high school, we continue this process. We gravitate more and more towards each other, forming clusters -- sometimes WITHIN a social group, sometimes IN SPITE of them. The combination of the social group(s) that we fit into, and the people with whom we are friends, can say a lot about what sort of person we will be.

There are times, here and there, when I wish -- just for a moment -- that I could go back to high school. I am sure that I'd do a much better job -- in nearly every way. That's kinda the point, though. The old song goes: "I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger." If we did, then high school wouldn't be nearly as important. Sure, the education is extremely important by itself, but the social experience is PRICELESS. People who fail socially (meaning that they don't form SOME kind of healthy social network) in high school rarely become strong people in adulthood. That being said, many things are guaranteed to CHANGE after high school.

First, almost all of the "big fish" in the small pond of high school find that they are now quite small and insignificant in the "real world." At the same time, nearly all of the social outcasts of high school realize that (in real life) they aren't as far beneath everyone as they thought they were. There is nearly always someone bigger or better than you, and there is nearly always someone worse off than you, as well.

Second, the social ladder gets MUCH easier to ascend or descend. The popular kids don't STAY popular so easily, if at all, and the unpopular kids get a clean slate. In fact, everyone gets a clean slate -- that's why it becomes so much easier to change your social status AFTER high school. Essentially, you can be whoever you want to be, but (even after high school) it is never easy. Social groups and "pecking orders" are instinctive, natural things. It usually takes quite a force of will to change our own standing in life for the better, but it can be done.

Third, the world simply becomes a much bigger place after high school. Most things become less important, as we are forced to make room for other important things. We learn a lot of new things that expand our understanding of ourselves and each other and the world in which we live. Our opinions on many things will change, and other opinions will be profoundly reinforced.

In some ways, adult life is like a bigger, more complicated version of high school. In other ways, it is completely different from high school. It is better and worse. It is harder and easier. I think that the sudden anxiety about leaving high school is a common occurrence. I think that it is natural to be a little afraid to leave the nest. In the case of leaving high school, though, you shouldn't be too worried about it.

First, your REAL friends will probably keep in touch. You may fondly reminisce about some of the people who don't keep in touch, but they won't likely be a major loss to your life in the long run, honestly.

Second, you'll be fine. Even if things don't go as planned, or if you feel like you just don't know what to do -- just remember that everyone else felt the same way at some point. Everyone goes through these sorts of things -- including people who don't even go to high school. Everyone comes to that point, when it is time to leave the nest. Everyone has things go wrong sometimes, and most of us make it through somehow.

Third, remember that from now on, high school will often seem better in your memory than it really was. It happens to almost everyone. Every year there are countless books and movies written about high school. The vast majority of those are written by adults. It is only natural to grow nostalgic about high school.

For most of us, high school is a fairly unimportant period in our life (besides the education) that turns out to be an extremely important part of our development. It doesn't actually count for anything if you are crowned prom king, but it might do wonders for your self confidence that will last a lifetime. If your cheerleading team wins the state competition, it won't make you a better singer, but it might prepare you for taking the stage. If you are dumped the night before the prom, it doesn't actually mean anything, in the grander scheme of things. However, an incident like that could either destroy your confidence or your trust in people, OR it could harden you, and help you to deal with hard times in the future. So, high school is everything and nothing. It is crucial and meaningless. In short, enjoy your memories, but don't get hung up on them. The rest of your life can easily be miles better than high school, but only if you allow it to be.

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