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dancing enigma
Highways over shades of red and blue
But you missed it when I said that
My world resides in black and white only
Like the photographs on your wall
Were they real or were they fake
This wasn't a thought afloat in my mind
At the time for I was blindsided and
Who wouldn't be, my dancing enigma
Somehow you can tarnish the debris
And convince me that it's as polished as stars
But darling, the curtain has fallen
The strings indeed lost their perfect harmony
Faded as the weaver's hands you have become
How long may this knot hold, dancing enigma
How may your falsetto deceive me
The colors in my photographic world are
Beginning to bleed through the grey
And those portraits are yet to be off your walls.
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I really like the way you write, it's got a creative style to it with some great imagery. For instance: "The colors in my photographic world are/Beginning to bleed through the grey"
I felt this line should be: "My world resides only in black and white." I thought the changed word order would create a better flow here, it just reads easier for me. |
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Hmmm... Very melancholic, very personal, very silent in your rhythms... i appreciate the lack of separations from sentence to sentence, permitting them, as do our minds, to run together... The "But darling..." addressing of your partner & your misinterpretation of "your falsetto" speaks into place you know, but will never be able to share with this lover... The Quiet remorse of realizing what most would label "lies" while you carefully study & see we all dwell in such lies... We are creatures, cut loose from the obvious by our deceiving minds... What do we want? Most of us never truly know this... Again, i must say, "Very good."
Very inspiring for me in my own work.
Yes, i am a writer, thus always a selfish reader, seeking what can drive me further in my own self-discovery.
Thanks for your generous exposure,
jimmy |
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