Trying to wake up god is like drilling into a dead body so I did.

God I'm confused. Santa Claus brings us gifts every year and he is supposed to be good but they say in church that Christmas is Jesus' birthday and that Santa is make believe. My parents are always mentioning Santa but never Jesus. Is Jesus good? He sure seems boring and he never brings gifts.

Dear god I ate all my food today because little boys are starving all over the world. Thank you for stopping daddy from getting drunk and hitting me and please tell Santa that I love him.

Forgive me god I have sinned. I had sex with my aunt today. My mothers' sister told me to obey her and I did. She told me to not tell anyone or else you would kill me but she didn't say I couldn't tell you. They say it's in the bible, to obey that is.

Forgive me god I have roving eyes. When Misses Green asked me to keep my eyes on my own paper, I couldn't. Maria Sanchez, the pretty girl next to me was wearing a very short skirt and I kept looking at her. Misses Green tore up my test paper. When she called home mom beat me with an electrical cord. I know, adults are allowed to do that but it hurts and it's not fair. Also god I had sex with my aunt this week. It has been 7 years and I really don't like her. I like Maria.

Dear god I'm a high school junior. I thought life would get better but it hasn't. My parents still beat me. My aunt still wants to have sex with me but I avoid her. I like a girl named Ruth. I'm sure you've seen her. She is the one with the funny blue eyes and she stutters but we are a match.

Forgive me god I had sex with Ruth today. I feel so guilty. Mom, Dad, and Aunt Carol told me that sex is evil with someone who is not in our religion. I'm not afraid to die so if you're going to take me go ahead. I am so tired and you refuse to speak to me.

God Ruth is pregnant and I don't know what to do. I've been praying since I was a little boy. I am seventeen and you've never answered any of my prayers. I cannot tell anyone, not Mom or Dad, not the preacher, not any of my teachers. I'm afraid. If the kids in school find out, I'll go crazy

God if you're out there, you already know. I did it because they made fun of us and I knew they would never stop. I know we look funny, Ruth and I. We are different from the other kids. We look different and speak different. The things we do are different. Even my religion is different. And I know that if Mom and Dad find out they will beat me over and over again. I know that no one cares. I don't even think that you care but I'm still praying. I guess, I am afraid of dying. I wish Ruth hadn't told anyone. I love her and I will miss her but these kids deserved it. Now they can't make fun of us anymore. And I feel like you abandoned me, all these years of prayer and you're still asleep.

Trying to wake you up is like drilling into a dead body and I will no longer try.

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