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GOpencyprep
Dave Carender
United States, AZ, Tucson

Words: 137
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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Please Forgive Our Vulgar Ways

Stumbling up these stairs with broken ankles splaying feet out awkwardly, the splintered knobs have become the soles of my feet, veins burst between ankle bone and the metal of these stairs. Blood is pooling in my shoes. Besides these broken ankles.

There are things I promised myself I would never do.

Gouges in the railing are reminders. The fingernails dug in the banister and left behind have a lot to say. Better pay attention. The door at the top of the stairs is very far away. I still have quite a ways to climb. On these broken ankles.

There are things I told myself I wouldn't ever do.

These stairs won't carry me out of this basement. I won't make it. I won't make it to the door before they get me.

I can't get away.

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Comments  
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 - 2007-08-19 23:33
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This hits home with me-Quite a metaphore-I have this road that must be traveled, like your stairs, but so many physical or emotional obstacles seem to keep me from reaching my rainbow-and it is waiting there right before my eyes but I can't seem to touch it.
Sabbath Nikole Comment by: Sabbath Nikole - 2007-06-24 20:41
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I like how discriptive you are in this piece. I can relate to the more submissive meanings. I like the fact that you know you will never reach your goal to climb up and out, but you still try so hard. Good stuff.
poeticverse119 Comment by: poeticverse119 - 2007-06-22 10:50
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I think this is very good. I like the title as well as the fact that you cant reach your freedom. I can relate there. Anyways all and all good stuff
GOpencyprep Comment by: GOpencyprep - 2007-06-20 14:00
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yeah this one was put up too quickly, when I get unlazy i'll revise it, it doesn't feel finished at all to me anyway
sunshine Comment by: sunshine - 2007-06-20 11:43
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this is great, love the title. some of your words choices are really amazing, but they seem to go on to long. Like your first sentance, I liked it up to "have become" and then it just sounded akward, don't know why exactly. I think it just sounds like you're talking in cincles. Did you mean "Besides these broken ankles." or "beside" it would work either way really. Loved the repetition.
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By GOpencyprep

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