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beheardnotscene
Jeff Newby
United States, California, Bakersfield

Words: 773
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Pearls among Swine

Tonight was different. It was not a difference in weather or the fact that multitudes of people were jam-packed in the convention center, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with one another. It wasn't the music playing over the loud speakers or the general mood of these souls around him, pushing and shoving as if it would do them any good. No one could get any closer to the front; there were simply too many people here. No, tonight was different because of the clarity Thomas felt. He had not felt this way for many years.

The stage everyone was shoving and striving to get closer to was very simple. Simple yet powerful; that was the way 'he' wanted it, Thomas thought to himself. A podium sat in the center, adorned with a single microphone. Two spot-lights, which hung from high above in the rafters, had their powerful beams focused on this podium. A red curtain hung behind it; How traditional, thought Thomas.

Clarity. Thomas smiled. His pulse raced. His excitement battled with his nerves in a deep and secret war waged inside his body and it was almost uncontrollable. He clenched his fists and planted his feet, holding firm against the tide of humanity which surrounded him. Laughter to his right caught his ear. Amongst the chaos and the voices the sweet noise was so clear. A small girl sat on her father's shoulders, enjoying the maelstrom around her, completely content on her father's ability to protect her.

The noise was gigantic. Nothing else was clearly audible to Thomas. It was all a jumbled mess of thousands of voices all competing for superiority. It was a feeble attempt but each individual voice did its best, ultimately failing.

'This must be what an ant feels like,' said Thomas, not loud enough for even himself to hear amongst the chatter of cattle.

Thomas looked around him, taking in the grand scene. The floor was, obviously, packed with people, but the thing that amazed him was so were the seats which rose in rows up towards the ceiling. Each seat held an individual soul, just as excited as Thomas and those around him, awaiting one man.

Then it happened. It was like magic, an unseen but clearly heard magician putting a spell on them all. 'Please,' a voice said over the loud speakers, 'be still.'

As one, the crowd settled down. The shoving stopped and they became silent. The little girl giggled softly but was quickly silenced by her father. Unexplainable. The curtain lifted and a lone man approached the podium. His suit, by the looks of it, was very expensive. He stood tall and proud like a man on a mission, a man with a purpose. The crowd erupted.

As he approached the podium he waved his hands in a downward motion, signaling the crowd to calm themselves, a huge and elegant smiled stitched across his face.

They obeyed. They always obeyed because he was who they were here for. Obviously he was no amateur when it came to large crowds. This was his destiny and the reason he was here. He had complete control over the people. When he spoke, ever so diligently, they listened.

Clarity. Thomas now knew who this man was. He needed no more convincing. It had all come down to this one perfect moment. Tonight, clarity was his ally. Tonight, he would be a part of history because of this man behind the podium.

'I know you,' he whispered towards the speaker at the podium, as if the man could possibly hear him. For one second their eyes met and they locked each other's gaze. For one second the air stood still. For one moment Thomas even amused the idea that the man at the podium did, in fact hear him, but as quickly as their eyes met, they broke away.

'I do know you,' he repeated, 'serpent.' The proud man at the podium stuttered mid speech and paused, only for a moment, then continued what he was saying.

Thomas looked at the little girl who was smiling at him. Her teeth were straight and bright. She looked like an angel, he thought. He returned a soft, genuine smile. Clarity and understanding. In a single motion he threw off his over-coat, revealing row upon row of, what resembled gray modeling clay in the shape of bricks strapped to his chest. He looked over one last time at the beautiful little girl who was still smiling.

'Close your eyes sweetheart,' he mouthed to her. She obeyed without hesitation. Clarity. Thomas gently pushed down on the detonator in his right hand.

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Comments  
beheardnotscene Comment by: beheardnotscene - 2008-03-10 12:31
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Yeah, I know what you're saying. It does need something else. I believe it's because this had been my first attempt, I was still really fresh and hadn't learned the do's and dont's of writing. I need to revise it, but I have been too lazy :-D
sheangel13 Comment by: sheangel13 - 2008-03-10 12:16
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Jeff, i really enjoyed this. It was very intense and visual. I feel like there is something missing in what is written, but i'm not sure what it is right now. I will read through later again and try to figure it out. I'm not saying to change anything if you are suited with what's written. It is written well and produces great effect, but there is something missing compared to some of your other writings.
MalachiAiden Comment by: MalachiAiden - 2008-03-03 08:16
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I really liked that you let us know what he was thinking, instead of just his surroundings. I feel it lets me not hate him so much. The serpent on the stage is obviously an important man, important enough to make Thomas part of history. The way you told the story was great.
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 - 2007-07-28 02:20
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Wow, what a read! Thought at first that Thomas was at a rock concert. Then, it made me feel like it was a Billy Graham Crusade. But, ultimatly, it was a marter doing his thing for whom? God? His country? What an ending!
feelingsmutual Comment by: feelingsmutual - 2007-06-17 15:37
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I'm impressed. I like how you took the time to describe the setting and mood of the story and directed the focus on the man on stage. i thought the story was just thomas' thoughts depicted among the many others in the crowd, he didn't seem like the harmful type, but the ending caught me off guard and i realized what was happening. I liked the reoccurring theme of clarity which made the ending more understandable. the shock factor was excellent. i felt remorse for the little girl. she was the innocent one among a crowd; falsely idolizing the man on stage.
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