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beheardnotscene
Jeff Newby
United States, California, Bakersfield

Words: 585
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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Revolution is my name.

Samuel Cromwell, Elizabeth Martin, Donald Bisby, Marcus Freeport, Sharon Canter; these are the names I was told not to repeat. I was told to put these names in the darkest corners of my mind and let them die there. These weren't people I should care about, they told me. That made it easier for me to pull the trigger. Each one a traitor to this land, sentenced without a formal judge or jury, to death. We need not worry ourselves with trials. Trials come later, right now only the revolution is important.

We fight this great battle because in a last ditch effort we hope to free the minds and hearts of the generations to follow. We are fighting more than men. We are fighting ideals and rules that breed oppression and tyranny. Yet, in the chaos of war, we hand out the exact same ideals to our enemies from which we are rebelling. Revolutionary justice is said to be just against those who are unjust.

The men and women who died by my hand did so because they simply chose the wrong side. To them it was right, but to us and the revolution, it was a decision that proved fatal. I tried keeping them out but alas, they tear to the forefront of my mind's eye. Each face was an individual. Each face was a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, taken from the face of the Earth by my hand because of my ideals.

Even as I note down each curve of each letter another one of our boys falls victim to the hand of eternal darkness, taken too soon because of man's uncanny ability to not live together in harmony. They call this a 'gentlemen's war,' but trust my word when I tell you there is no such thing. Gentlemen exist only in our fantasies, not on the battlefield. There could never be a 'gentlemen's war,' only a murderer's war. For it takes the ability of oneself to shut down emotion and feeling before sending another to his or her death. Sympathy on the field of battle breeds hesitation and hesitation breeds death.

I write this not for my own sake. My own sanity has fallen behind and I never looked back or tried to retrieve it. It was a weakness that I cannot afford to have if I value my life. I write this for tomorrow. I write this for the youth of latter generations who will undoubtedly be fighting another war all too soon. I urge you not to be mystified by the romanticism with which they promote such evil. Do not hastily grab your belongings and head into the meat grinder without reason. Adventure and courage, although you may be courageous, do not await you here. Only death and the devil him-self await you.

Samuel Cromwell, Elizabeth Martin, Donald Bisby, Marcus Freeport, and Sharon Canter stay with me now always. With the next day comes the reality that I may be with them and not the other way around, as it is now. It does not sadden me to know that today another name will be added to the list. What saddens me is that I care not. The revolution must carry on. We must be victorious for the very sake of those I am trying to save with this letter. Hold these words in your heart. Pray for a free and united American nation.

No regrets, only hope,
Jonathan Liberus, 1775.

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Comments  
randomnfreak Comment by: randomnfreak - 2007-11-07 19:36
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very very nice. you made the character incredibly creepy yet believible.
possumpie Comment by: possumpie - 2007-08-25 21:26
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Impressive, you have a gift...
BlueSkelton Comment by: BlueSkelton - 2007-06-20 18:55
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Heh No I wasn't speaking about Separation of Religion and state although you are right that did come later. You are correct that unfair taxation was one of the causes of the American Revolution but just like any war there are several causes.

Another cause was censorship and illegal search and seizure. And finally if you read the works of Thomas Paine the man who sparked the American Revolution and Rejuvenated it after we had almost lost the Revolution, you will discover that the revolution was a backlash rebellion against theocratic monarchies such as the Papacy in Rome and the Anglican Church. They wanted to form government formed by and for the people.

This sadly is something that we have never achieved. Our forefathers did their best but even Benjamin Franklin (they all did) knew that Machine Politics and Corporate rule was inevitable hence his quote "This government is a [great] experiment you have here we shall see if it works" That was a paraphrase but was mostly accurate.

The whole separation of church and state did indeed come later. And that was just to ensure that everyone would be free to worship their own religions without being dictated by the government or anyone else. Most of the founding fathers were against even having God written in the Constitution but they knew that the people of the US would never accept the validity of the document without it.

Thomas Paine, Patrick Henry (they named a Conservative College after him, he probably rolled over in his grave on that one) among many others were outspoken critics of the Bible.

Many things to think about for this story. I commend you on writing something that inspires so much thought and you did a good job of showing the narrators pain but I think that if you personalized the victims more than just names it would greatly help the affect. Show us how with detail how they similar to the narrator.

But Good Job overall. My comments have been more thoughts than criticism although I do think that you could improve the letter by expanding it. It only touches the surface of several issues that it hints at whether you intending to hint or not.
beheardnotscene Comment by: beheardnotscene - 2007-06-20 17:18
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Um.. hmm.. Well... actually the revolution was about no taxation without representation. The king of England was unjustly taxing the Americans and we wanted independence from him so we could start our own Nation. The separation of church and state came later. I wasn't trying to touch on religion, even though after your comment I can see that it wouldn't be a bad idea seeing how we are fighting a war against religious fanatics as well as the fanatics among us in this country. That would be a good parallel.

As for the trials and juries... I brought that up because the people executed were not uniformed soldiers. Also, they were at one time Americans, the difference is that they were loyalists to the crown (that is why they were executed, remember at this time America wasn't a free nation. In the eyes of Englad we were just terrorists putting up a rebellion). I wanted it to show that the narrator was haunted almost by the fact that he was killing his own (at one time) fellow countrymen just because he was under orders.

Thank you for taking the time to comment on it and discuss this with me. Im glad you took an interest in my writing. Come back and leave as many comments as you please. Have a good one brother.
BlueSkelton Comment by: BlueSkelton - 2007-06-20 13:59
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Ahh ok I get it now. Its an essay on pacifism and the effects of killing. I just needed a reread. Still now I am curious about what those people stood for? What act of treason did they commit? How do they differ from me?

And Wars don't require judges or juries. You are condemned to death just by fighting. Whether or not your sentence is executed is luck of the draw.

Still you raise an interesting idea of a gentleman's war but with the exception of maybe the Samurai, this is something that has never existed. But even the Samurai engaged in brutality.

I like your story even more now and its a very valid question. Is it better to suffer from Religious Tyranny or Kill for your Freedom. Very pertinent in today's society what with certain religious groups who are now exerting so much influence over our society and politico.

You Might want to play off the separation of church and state considering that was what the American Revolution was all about. Sometimes in this country we forget that our forefathers bled and killed so that we would never again be ruled by a Pope, King or Church.
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