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Memories Of Timmy
Please read "My Angel" first, or you will not understand.
Dedicated to the memory of Timothy Paul Shilling
Written 11/02/99
I had a friend I had known forever.
Our friendship was such that even time couldn't sever.
I remember the first time we met...
I sat alone on the bus, my eyes barely wet.
I was new to the school...
I had no friends: I wasn't cool.
But he didn't care, just sat down beside me.
From that day on, I've had no friend better than he.
Then on Valentine's Day, he gave me a rose.
Every time someone speaks of him, my heart jumps and glows.
I remember helping him take off a leg
so he could "kick" someone in the head.
I remember him being unhappy
when I told him that my father was dead.
I remember him trying to get me to help him make a comic strip.
Then I had to move away... as I left, I felt my heart rip.
I came back to visit,
his mom said, "He's putting his legs on, so wait."
I knew I couldn't stay long, or I'd be late.
But I came back again, I thought this time I'd stay.
Unfortunately, Timmy's life was dwindling away.
I had missed the bad news: he was terribly sick.
His body was failing... It was too late a transplant to pick.
I came to visit... he was just as I remember.
The sickness of his body hadn't killed his spirit's bright ember.
He had to go to the hospital: he was sick once again.
Every night I prayed his suffering would end.
I prayed he'd get well and I prayed he would die.
Then, when I was done, I would lie in bed and cry.
It had been weeks since I saw him...
And I thought about him always:
wrote about him every time I picked up a pen.
Then I heard the news: Timmy is dead.
But his life wasn't wasted:
his spirit is passed on every time this is read.
© 1999 Janettee Younger
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| Thank you, David and Debra! I'm glad you both liked it. He was very courageous! I'm sorry he didn't get to share his life with more people, too! |
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| Janettee, I didn't read it as a poem, but as a kind of mental slide-show. It's a beautiful tribute to a courageous soul. I wish I could have known Timmy. |
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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-02-24 17:41
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| Hi, very nice read. I like all your poems very much. By the way have you got my message? Looking forward to hearing from you, best wishes. |
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| Although I do appreciate your critique, the poetry in remembrance of others are ones I will not change. They are designed more for sharing the memory than for actual poetry. But thank you. (Besides, I really like rhyming.) |
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Hi Janettee. At first, when I read your poem, I didn't care for the rhyme scheme, but I was very shocked when I realized this person the narrator loved had no legs. Suddenly what seemed like a sappy tribute turned into a grotesque piece with an entirely different tone to it. It's hard for me to really comment on a poem like this because it isn't a style I care for.
Here is one sentence I think could be made to flow better:
His body was failing... It was too late a transplant to pick.
>>I'm not sure how to change this, perhaps make the rhyming word in the line above into 'ill' instead of 'sick' and see what happens.
Anyway, I do like some of the memories this narrator is recalling, some of the very touching. But be careful to not get overdramatic. It's a beautiful memory piece, but as a poem, it is easy to become cliche and overdramatic. |
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