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The King Of Maggots
Come on lets see what you got
Shit talk the world
Cut out your baby's dreams with
Razor blade words
Knives that cut through peoples ambitions
Destroy the carefully constructed walls within their smiles
When you laugh
Cut them down to their knees,
When they grow up again they are withered and wilted
Twisted, malignant, pregnant with evil
Written on their dead faces as they stare
From maggot filled sockets that crawl
Dead eyes.
Transform like you
The master of evil
Who bloomed from the most deadly flower
Poison dripping from your petals
Your totalitarian hand controls
Snapping your whip at our heals
Training us like circus animals
Who dance and wail to the pipers tune
Follow till our death.
You lure your prey in with sweet smiles that reek of decay
To rip open their chests and eat their hearts
Still beating in your palm.
The angel of death
People adore you
Worship you
Undulate around your ring of hell
Deep in the inferno
That burns black with hate
Nothing lives down there
Minds get crushed and ground away leaving dead shells behind.
The dead return and walk the streets
You can see it in their empty eyes
They have been kissed by the angel of death
Maggots eat away their minds.
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Cut out your baby's dreams with
Razor blade words
I don't think I have ever read such powerful words. Those words, in and of themselves, sum up my relationship with my family. |
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morbid but beautiful, i cant explain where it touches but youve made a great connection to the evil inside, ithink, something truely great
Poison dripping from your petals
Your totalitarian hand controls
Snapping your whip at our heals
Training us like circus animals
Who dance and wail to the pipers tune
i love that part, your vocabulary and description is inspiring |
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Cut out your baby's dreams with
Razor blade words
//f#ck..
nice.
The dead return and walk the streets
/solid.. its just
subject verb.
thats what one shoots for all the time. theres no fat in
the sentence. it snaps.
theres some fat throughout though that hurts this a little.
still fun to read though.
//Twisted, malignant, pregnant with evil
//great.. |
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| hahaha, even after reading this now i am itching to edit |
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I enjoyed the verve of your writing, and your tone... a few suggestions if I may,
I like to let my writing "bake", meaning I let it sit without editing for 9-12 months and then stumble upon it later. This may be something you may want bake, with the intention of coming back to it and either taking it one step deeper into your imagery by crucifying it with more stark and less common verbage, or do the opposite, take it weirder, more perverse using trite phrases in conjunction with hideous ones.
Either way, good work, good depth. |
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