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Summer Shower
You might as well wait for rain,
the sudden ease of breath,
a devastating coolness.
The crowd scattered,
leaving us two stranded fools
staring up at the sky.
It burst with all
the shock of a balloon.
In seconds we were swept away
in the flood.
I thought of Noah then,
and the creatures that got left behind.
The two of us would never qualify,
not being the same species,
me the unicorn
and you a cousin of the phoenix,
no need for children.
I tried to warn you
we were endangered,
but you laughed and said,
we'll just have to swim for it.
There were desert islands in your eyes
and waves that broke across your skin.
I thought after all who needs
umbrellas, white doves, other lifesavers,
it's only a bit of water.
For you I could drink the ocean dry.
All storms will pass in time.
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This conveys a powerful sense of childish wonder at the world - with interesting metaphysical imagery and a nice ending "For you I could drink the ocean dry. All storms will pass in time." Good line; love overcomes the fantasy life.
A very pleasant poem all round really. Can't fault it! |
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I would love to see you perform so much â?¦ please come to Belfast!
I just love your creativeness â?¦ you are an inspiration. |
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"For you I could drink the ocean dry.
All storms will pass in time." Great line. I've noticed that you use images very well. Perhaps the best example of this is your combining of religious and mythical references, "I thought of Noah then,
and the creatures that got left behind.
The two of us would never qualify,
not being the same species,
me the unicorn
and you a cousin of the phoenix," Great poem. |
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| I'm not too good at posting criticism. All I can say is I love the imagery of this poem & the wonderful line, 'For you I could drink the ocean dry'. |
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Interesting how you mention "no need for children", because the images you've chosen for your similes are the objects of childhood- believed by children. The romantic notion before we've stumbled into age and discover people can hurt us without even trying.
i feel it IS the child, deep inside, submerged, who has been damaged, and can only use images of childhood, because none of this parting seems to be real... |
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