The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it. |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
The Obverse
(excerpt from Subconscious Still Frames)
Copyright Edward Palmer
Scenes seemingly meaningless cascade clearly.
Obverse understanding, attempts to mend, acts of yearlings.
Stingingly obvious objections to obligations.
Muddled and huddled in the loss of translations.
Pissed and poured.
Tongues that cut with each and every word.
Sharp as a Katana sword.
Topple tingling towers with January showers.
Laugh at the actions of cowards.
In the corner, in the corner,
Cry your tears, can't communicate like a foreigner.
Trapped in your mask like tar,
Trapped like a spider in a mason jar.
Creep and crawl as far as you can.
Slither,
Searching for solace'¦
And it will never end.
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: lwallen - 2007-10-29 09:18
|
|
| a wonderful take on life. i enjoyed the imagery |
|
|
You've written a very animated poem. I like the alliteration in places, and the surprising rhymes. I usually hate rhymes, but for some reason yours read so smoothly. Like "topple tingling towers with January showers" has perfect meter and rolls off the tongue so satisfyingly that if you don't like the lines around it, you will after you get done reading it. I was more caught up in having fun making the words with my mouth than taking any meaning from it. "Sharp as a Katana sword" is another nice, sharp-imaged line.
Very good. |
| 1 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
| | Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster. Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S | | |