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OilsandSyntax
Nikki Niswonger
United States, Ohio

Words: 188
Access: Public
Comments: 7

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Chalky Silhouettes

Aimless
I walk in the direction of the neon lottery sign.
I steal glances from random stars
And wonder if there's a star glancing at me.
An empty bottle lays in the gutter.
Streams of fresh rain caress its transparent confines.
I imagine a little wooden ship trapped inside
Trapped within fragile walls
Seeing everything from a foggy, illusional perspective
Neon lottery sign
Screaming horns wail songs of impending iniquities.
Screeching tires paint furiously the skid marks invading my nostrils.
I used to love the smell of rubber.
But now that smell reminds me of all the rushing people
Watching the cars crash together
Oblivious to the backdrop of my violation
No one can hear me screaming.
So I focus on the sails of my little wooden ship
Twigs snap.
The lottery sign flickers a belated S.O.S.
Chalky silhouettes smear overcast streets.
Careless star-gazers
Each gust of nature's breath
Sends tumbling into time
The torn yellow tape of selfish desire.
Torn by savage greedy hands
Pain becomes my anthem.
Inspiration
Sorrow serenades me to submission.
And I walk
Aimless
Toward the neon lottery sign.

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Comments  
Joni Ramos Comment by: Joni Ramos - 2007-11-26 21:10
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I steal glances from random stars

and

The torn yellow tape of selfish desire.
Torn by savage greedy hands
Pain becomes my anthem.

Very imaginative and creative piece! I enjoyed reading it. Thanks.
santiagothor Comment by: santiagothor - 2007-11-25 08:28
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wow, what an excellent piece of prose you got here, bravo! rgds, santiagothor
kjfloyd119 Comment by: kjfloyd119 - 2007-11-24 17:02
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really interesting piece, it reminds me of being on the East Coast. I think you used the lottery to do something very defining with this piece, something we can all recognize and empathize with.
KennethWelling Comment by: KennethWelling - 2007-11-16 08:21
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I was engrossed by this, and I think it's a good write. I particularly felt it was strongest when you substituted the imagery for the abstractions. The words like "iniquities", "greedy", etc. just couldn't compare to the beauty of your ship in a bottle.
venturpreneur Comment by: venturpreneur - 2007-11-14 22:15
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Purpose and futility all in one. Very good.
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