The police told us that situations like this seldom had happy endings. They said that all of the evidence pointed to the unthinkable and we believed them. I believed them. I let memories fill my days when the horrific thoughts of what may have happen became too overwhelming. Still, I prayed for days, weeks, hoping that if I could be given one thing than let that one thing be to see her again. But I truly never thought it would happen. Ever.
She was only three when she vanished from our lives. I can recall laughing at how quickly she'd spin, going round and round, again and again, tiny rain droplets hitting the flower prints on her brand new dress. Her little spring dress, as she like to call it, because it was her favorite time of year, her favorite season.
I turned away for only few moments as she played out in the front yard. She couldn't resist being a part of those first few sudden spring rains that came about this time of year. I thought nothing of it when I turned back around and didn't see her tiny figure dancing like a tribal princess in some special ceremony. She was known for her hiding games and I knew at any moment she would pop up, wave, and go back to her dancing. But a few minutes past and I still didn't see her, no little Hannah jumping into the air, waving. That's when I begin to worry. My mind grew frantic at the thought of all of the what if's that seem to began surfacing in my brain. But all of my thoughts were answered with a saddening reality. My little girl was gone, kidnapped by some stranger in an instant, and never to be seen again.
We never found her body, only her clothes, blood stained and torn in a wooded area several miles from our home. It confirmed our worst fears. The happiness of spring turn dark for me that year and I could no longer enjoy the beauty of those first warm rains without sadness and longing feeling my heart, until one day, that day.
It was raining that day when it came to be, when I saw her again. I was out in the back yard planting flowers, ignoring the tiny droplets that had began covering me more insistently as this little shower progressed. That's when I heard the whispers. The little giggles, quiet but loud enough for me to hear, for me to notice. I stopped what I was doing and looked around. No one was there, and once again I begin to assume the worst. That my mind was playing dreadful tricks on me, reminding me again of those days not so long ago when my time was filled with a child's innocent laughter. Those days were over.
I turned and forcing myself to work even harder on my task at hand, get my mind to pay attention to something else for at least a few moments. But then it happened again. A giggle, flowing through the air and trickling into my ears just the same as the raindrops trickled down my already moist skin. My heartbeat quickened and my breath caught in my throat. I looked around once more and there over on the side of the house I could see a small round almost cherub like face staring back at me. The little face was smiling, almost glowing it seemed, a few thick black soft curls hanging leisurely around this face while the rest danced around almost magically with the breeze of the wind. It wasn't? She's gone. She's dead. It's just been way too long. But then, who possibly could this child be?
The child turned around for a second then turned back, looking at me once more. Smiling angelically, she motioned for me to come and follow.

I didn't know what to do. Was I hallucinating? Was I going crazy? Was a child really there? A child who reminded me of my own dear Hanna?
Maybe for those first few months I lost some sanity, lost my mind perhaps. But more time had past and even though the pain was still there, I had managed to start living again. Somewhat. Still, I had to know, had to see exactly why this child was here.
I stood up slowly, paying no attention to my gloves or small shovel falling to the ground. I kept my eyes affix on the side of the house, on that face that continued smiling then produced another small giggle covered by a little hand. I moved closer, not going too quickly for fear that I might scare the child. But the closer I got the more I could see for certain the face of Hanna, my Hanna. She motion for me to come forth once more and then disappeared. I went faster, nearly starting a light run. I reached the side of the house, wondering where she had gone. Once again, I heard the sweet familiar laughter and saw her face staring out at me from the other corner of the house, the same corner that rounded to the front yard.
She motioned for me to keep coming and I did. As I got closer, once again, she disappeared from my sight. I reached the corner in only a matter of moments and stopped. I immediately saw her and for the first time since she appeared, I let an emotion-filled smile escape from my lips at the sight before me.
My little Hannah, right there in the front yard, her brown eyes sparkling, her head full of black curls falling damp against her olive complexion as she began spinning, round and round, again and again, the light spring rain falling all around her and the wonderful glow her form seem to be illuminating.

It was an absolutely breathtaking moment, seeing my little girl again. A strange feeling came over me and as I drew myself a little closer, I could see her glowing even more spectacularly, even though her form seem to be becoming less there, less visible. I knew the truth of this matter, of this strange realization. My Hanna was an angel, coming to me, to say her final goodbye.
'Feel it momma. It's all around you momma, like me.'� Hanna replied with a big grin.
I moved closer to her disappearing form. My emotions took over. My eyes filled with water. My body slightly trembled as I realized I was so close that I could reach out and touch her by now, but I didn't, for fear that it would interrupt this wonderful thing that was taking place.
She continued spinning, laughing, becoming a part of the spring rain until the glow of her form completely disappeared before me. I stood still until there was nothing more there than what had been there when my morning began, freshly cut green grass covered in warm spring rain.
I stood there for a second longer, taking in the scent of fresh spring air, feeling the rain starting to lighten up until only the last final drops seem to fall. That's when I notice the slight flickering just a little ahead of me, almost in the exact same spot Hanna had been spinning in. Something small was shinning in the grass. It's brightness reflecting off the sunlight that had suddenly begun to come through. I stepped forward and bent down to pick up the unknown item and felt my breath catch in my throat once more. It was the necklace Hanna had been wearing the day she disappeared.
I fingered the small charm, a little gold heart pendant on a delicate chain, only small enough to fit on the neck of a child, a beautiful three-year-old child. Inscribed in the front were the words, for our special Hanna. Another tear streamed down my cheek as I carefully turned it over and read the back, Love always, Mom & Dad.
But how did it get here? I'd stood in this area, walked, even sat here for hours at a time and never found a trace of anything. How? The thought crossed my mind for only a brief second before I looked up at the sky and laughed out loud. The first time I'd laughed so openly and so loudly in nearly a year, this was Hanna's gift to us, her comforting goodbye.
Looking back on it now, two years later with a brand new baby girl in my arms, and the first rains of spring, only brings a smile to my face. I know today, that my eyes aren't watery with only the joy of my new daughter, Hailey, but with the thought that our Hanna is looking down on us. Watching us with that same little smile of hers, and feeling our ears with her innocent laughter, the soft pitter patter of raindrops quietly falling all around.

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