Note: This was written early- to mid-December last year, as a Senior English assignment; as in one of my other writings, "Catch-22," this story reflected my biggest problem nearly verbatim. Rereading this now, I don't like the ending much at all - I think I was trying to convince myself more than anything. As a writing, though, I don't think it's too bad...
'Jenna? Jenna, are you okay?'¯
'Huh?'¯ I glanced up at Brad, abruptly shaken out
of my thoughts. 'Oh. Yeah, I'm fine'¦'¯
'All right, cool. So then that guy and the rest go
over to that one other guy's place and'¦'¯
But I was already gone, lost in thought once again,
going over the same thing that had been circling in my head for weeks. I had
been with Brad for a while now ' six months, four days, to be exact. I loved
him, of course I did, and I wouldn't leave him for the world. He was attractive,
gentle, sweet, loving'¦but if he was the only one in the world for me, then why
was my mind always finding its way back to Drake?
Drake ' Drake Hunt, my gorgeous, long-haired,
slightly shadowed, guitar-playing ex-boyfriend from two years back. Out of my
life for a good fifth of a decade, he was suddenly there again, suddenly a part
of my world once more. Spotting him by chance at a football game earlier in the
year, we'd only had enough time to swap e-mail addresses before I decided to
bail and run off; we had been exchanging messages for a good month or so now.
Unbeknownst to Brad, though, Drake had called me the night before. Oh, it felt
so good to catch up on old times, to talk things out, to actually take our time
and resolve what had been bottled up inside for so, so long, since the day we
were tragically torn from each others' arms'¦
'Jenna! Are you hearing me or not?'¯
I blinked, once again yanked from my thoughts.
'Yeah'¦yeah.'¯ I flash an insta-grin at him.
'Then what did I just say?'¯
'Oh, you said'¦y'know, you were talking about that
one guy'¦he went over someone's house and stuff'¦'¯
'What happened after that?'¯
'They'¦um'¦partied'¦?'¯
'No! I just said'¦'¯ He heaved a sigh. ''¦You know
what, never mind.'¯ He began to get up.
'Hey, no, wait'¦'¯ I convinced him to sit back down.
'Look, no, I'm sorry. It's just that ''¯
'That what?'¯ He crossed his arms and stared
straight across at me, his brow knitted with concern. 'You've been like this
for a while now'¦it's like you're never all the way there. What's going on?'¯
'Nothing.'¯
'Pfft ' yeah, right! You think I don't know you by
now? I can tell when something's up ' why don't you wanna tell me?'¯
Because
it's about my ex, I wanted to
yell ' but couldn't, I couldn't. If Brad only knew how much Drake was weighing
on my mind'¦
I had talked to Drake on the phone the night
before. I had given him my number through e-mail, and this was the second time
he'd called me, the first being ten long minutes of giggling and stumbling over
words in a vain attempt to form a legible sentence, everything feeling way too
awkward. Round two, though, proved to be quite different ' and we ended up
talking for five straight hours! It's not like I meant to or anything; you see,
once it got flowing, it didn't stop until both our phone batteries were ready
to give out on us. I didn't feel too bad about that or anything; the real guilt
trip, though, came after I hung up ' when I realized Brad had attempted to
call, more than once! Of course, it wasn't like I hadn't noticed the beeps during our conversations'¦but that only
made things worse. What could I do, though? The ability to communicate with
Drake once again was all I ever really wanted'¦but had it come too late? What
was I to do now?
I closed my eyes and sighed; when I opened them, I
saw Brad, sitting across from me as he had been, apprehension crossing his
features. 'Look, Jenna'¦I love you. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me when
something's bothering you. Is it'¦'¯ He hesitated for a split-second. ''¦Drake?'¯
I couldn't answer him. Of course it was Drake'¦how would Brad feel if one of his exes came
back, saying that she still loved him and had never stopped? What would he do
if he realized that he had a million chances with her, the person that he had
harbored so much pain and feelings on account of, but had overlooked or
chickened out of every one of them? I wouldn't have minded an answer, actually,
as I was in desperate need of one myself. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I
shouldn't have been worrying about Drake, right? I had Brad'¦
Then, at that, something in me just clicked. I'¦had'¦Brad. If Brad was mine,
then of what need was Drake? Why would I need anyone else in the world? I had
missed my chance with someone, so what? Now I had a better choice, someone even
greater. I had a boyfriend that was there for me, someone that gave me
stability, that improved my life, that lifted me up. I was perfectly satisfied
with myself and with Brad ' why should I let an old flame get in the way of all
that I have? I was so much better off now'¦
At that thought, my head suddenly cleared of all
confusion, and I broke out in a wide grin, glancing up to Brad's confused face.
He raised an eyebrow. 'What're you grinning about'¦?'¯
'Nothing'¦it's all good. I love you!'¯
He still looked a bit confused. 'I'¦I love you
too'¦'¯
I laughed. 'Good to know. Now what was that about that
one guy, again?'¦'¯
