I have never been big on books nor have I ever read myself to death. God knows I tried. But as I passed by this quaint bookstore library, I felt a strong urge to walk in as if an unseen force was beckoning me inside. I needed a place to kill time anyway, so I thought what the heck. I could certainly use the peace and quiet.

On a weekday morning, it wasn’t surprising the library was almost empty except for a clump of college students huddled probably over a school research at the farthest corner table at the left wing.
Luminescent at the back of the opposite wing stood a coffee vending machine. I walked straight towards it and instantly saw the two magic words: mocha and latte.

I was fumbling for some loose change when this male library staff, preoccupied with inserting new titles at the nearby rows of bookshelves, forcibly caught the corner of my eye. As I was about to insert the last coin, I gave in to the urge to take a quick glance at him.

Though his back was towards me, I could not be mistaken by his clean-cut hair, his ramrod straight body, the breadth of his shoulders and the gracefulness in his movements. Everything inside me told me I’ve known this man all my life.

The coin slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor with a loud ring. I found myself stiffen and almost out of breath. It couldn’t be him!

Stunned, the stack of five hardbound books almost fell from his arms as he turned around towards the source of the sound and saw me. His eyes widened in shock as if he saw a ghost.

“Oh my God! Kristenne? Is that you?” he said, desperately groping for something sensible to say. He looked dazed trying to comprehend the situation before him.

“Hi Dustin.” I replied, managing only a whimper. Thoughts of whether my hair was in order, whether I was wearing the right lipstick or was I smiling properly, were racing through my head like bloodhounds on steroids.

The few seconds felt like eternity as I gazed into his beautiful eyes. He looked older but just as handsome as I’ve first seen him. My entire being yearned so bad to leap into his arms, into his soul. I don’t remember how long we stood there just staring at each other.

“Excuse me one second.” He said, hurriedly shuffling the books in his arms and shoving them into their pre-assigned shelves.

“I heard you’re finally ‘free’.” I said mockingly, not waiting for him to finish inserting the last book. A scornful indignation was starting to boil deep inside my guts.

He faced me with the most loving gaze I’ve ever come to know. “Kristenne, I swear I searched for you till the very end. By the time I found you, it was too late. I found you in a chapel, in a pristine white gown, walking down the red-carpeted isle. But you were walking farther and farther away from me. “

All my strength left me and I felt like I was going to faint. It must have been obvious because he held me by my arm and sat me at a small reading table adjacent a wide glass window, over looking the muted bustle of the busy street outside.

“Yes, I was there Tenne. I didn’t stay very long though. I’m sure you’d understand. But I’m also most certain you were the most beautiful woman in the solar system right at that very moment. Well, in my case, you always have. And you will always be.”

A streak of pain cut so deep I couldn’t help the tears from flowing. There was just too much my eyelids can handle.

“’Galaxic’ beauty. Remember?”

It was an old mutual joke. The chuckle amidst the tears was spontaneous. “Do you know that I hate you for that? You’re the only one who could make me laugh even when I’m crying.” My shoulders where shaking from my sobbing and his one-liner. “You always do that! I hate you!” He knew I was lying.

“I missed you Kristenne. Believe me I started looking for you the day I got back to my own feet again.”

“But you promised…” A painful lump in my throat cut me short.

“And I never swayed from it. And even after everything, I still love you just as much. Yes Kristenne, until now.”

I felt warm tears dripping from underneath my chin.

“I was a total wreck when I came out of my storm and I wanted to make sure I was strong enough to start a new life with you.”

Punctuated by my muffled sobs, the deafening silence gave me enough time to dab off the tears already smearing my makeup.

“Somehow I strongly believe I wasn’t dragged here, by whatever it was, for no reason at all.” I managed to say, regaining my composure.

“Neither do I.”

“So where does this leave us now?” I said. It was more of a challenge.

“I’m glad you asked Tenne. There hasn’t been a moment that I ever stopped loving you, longing for you. Not even when I thought there were times back then when you were doing things just to spite me. And how easy it was for me to find a reason to hate you just so I could move on. But deep inside, I knew I would bleed more if I were to turn my back from the only love that meant more to me than life.

I did everything to forget you and failed. And I have resolved not to give my love to another woman for fear that she would easily know it’s not her that I see when I look into her eyes.

If hoping is my curse, then the dream of someday I will hold your hand and call you mine is my blessing. And even if that day shall never come, my love for you will stand until the bell tolls on me.”

“You haven’t answered my question Justin. I just had about enough of your speeches.” I said, almost apologizing for the sarcasm. He knew I was getting more and more exasperated.

Then there was his smile again. “Oh Kristenne, you haven’t changed a bit. We both know that this time, it’s you who is, shall we say, tied up. When I left that chapel, I promised myself I was willing to wait for you for as long as it takes. Will our lifelong dream ever come true? That, I will leave to fate alone. And I’m not afraid anymore.“

He reached across the table and gently took my right hand. And then he placed it on his chest and looked straight into my eyes. For years I’ve wallowed in this very same gaze, as a reckless captive, intoxicated by its beauty, by its power. His gaze alone was my parcel of heaven.

“I will wait for you Kristenne. Know that when you leave this place, this heart will beat for you and you alone, until it beats its last.”

The only thing I remember after that was that I was running away from the library with tears streaking from my eyes. I must have run several blocks because I almost collapsed on the sidewalk from exhaustion. And I didn’t even say goodbye, maybe because I didn’t want to.

Perhaps I never will.

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