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A congregation of gulls
A congregation of gulls
Hunkered cooly down in silent communion
With the placid Pacific Ocean
At low tide languishing
Some small change, a ripple
Ferry-lined to the aves masses
And they are cascading upward
A spiritual lifting
Sky thick with swirling arching magnificence
Some cast beyond the waves
Winging a lilting choreography
And, soulfully descending,
Mine the waters there
Others return
To their remembered grooves
Ruffle their obedient feathers to right
And resume their stoic vigil
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Comment by: lrlewis - 2007-11-03 20:55
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thanks, both TirzahLaughs and rrig16, for your comments (and i apologize for my delay in responding). rrig16, you're close; the inspiration came from L.A.
as for the stanzas, i never thought about them; i'm unschooled in structure and mostly go from feeling, but it is a thing worth considering. i appreciate the close read and suggestions. |
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| Nice imagery. Line two in Stanza 1...the word cooly isn't needed and throws it slightly off synch. I also wonder why you switch from 4 line stanzas to a five line stanza in Stanza 2? Overall, it has great presence, wonderful imagery, and it's well put together. |
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Comment by: rrig16 - 2007-07-02 06:51
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I like it! Reminds of SD, lived there in the 80's. Keep writing
-R |
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