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Bedbugs
they play invisible in bed
with the lights on
then with a quick flick
suck on you
and don't let up
they keep you up all night,
not like a good read
but a nagging fear of a bleed
and, worst of all,
made you think that
you're dirty
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| This was stunning, and i like the extended metaphor displayed here. I was almost confused because i almost thought that you were speaking of actual bugs. Maybe you should give a hint to the reader, maybe better personify the bugs. |
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Comment by: Scribe - 2007-07-02 11:05
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| Metaphorical, no? A lover whose overstayed his welcome....sapping your strength, your spirit - making you doubt yourself. Great work! |
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Comment by: Dante - 2007-06-29 21:21
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| I like this piece. If you are implying that a certaion man was the bed bug, maybe hinting to the human side will help - "He'll keep you up all night". |
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