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Comment by: zepol - 2007-07-17 06:59
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| I looked at several of your titles and this one reeled me in. I really love this poem and think it can be great. Your cadence is thrown off towards the end by one line. "With power she taken". When I read that line aloud does not sit well within the rest of the poem. Also 11th line from the bottom: I suggest you drop the word most. This is wonderful work; thanks for a good read. |
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| If you are not in any poetry slams doing your material, somethings wrong. Your writing is great. Even the ladies go on the prowl! lol |
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| very nice job. it flows brilliantly! you have a talent for this kind of poetry, keep up the good work! |
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scandolous... lol
very good piece |
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| I love the metaphor of the lioness. Iventive and appropriate. Good write. |
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