Over the past few years my life has been hectic. All my problems start with the family. A family which is based on lies. To the general public our family presents itself as a strong, close and loving family. A family that looks after each other even through the toughest times. Wrong.

I don't remember a lot of my childhood. When I was young I learnt to keep to myself otherwise I would have to face 'The Parents'�. If ever I were to voice my opinion, I would immediately start to shake knowing what was going to happen. My stepfather would tower over me, his face all red like he had severe sunburn and his veins popping out of his skull. He would breathe so intensely, like a bull ready to charge. Then the deafening screaming would begin. Spit would fly everywhere so as I had to shield myself. Fists of stone would be flying in every direction. Through the storm of spit, I was able to see my mother. Staring. Waiting for the storm to pass by before she would come over and hiss 'Now look at what you've done!'�.

I never really got to know my mother. She was very pretty and respected by all her fellow workmates. It was a deadly shock to me to find out that she had terminal lung cancer. She had been sick for quite a while. Chest pains and headaches but we thought that was because she was working to hard. I always wonder if things would have ended up different if she had gone to the doctor earlier.

The day she died will forever haunt me. I woke up at around 7 for school. My sister, Lauren, came and jumped onto the bed. I was not pleased about getting up so early let alone have her pouncing all over me. Mum had been sick for a few months now. It was no surprise when dad popped his head through the doorway and informed us about mum having another 'bad night'. An ambulance was on the way. This had happened so many times before. When the ambulance arrived, I watched the green man and woman collect mum. The squeaking of the stretcher's wheels echoed down the hallway. As mum was being wheeled by my bedroom window Lauren and I attempted to say goodbye to our mother. The beast of a stepfather however blocked our view of her. We watched as the ambulance drove off down the road. Sirens blaring. We prayed that she would return home soon. But she never did.

Nothing much was said between Lauren and I.We just continued on with our everyday routine. Getting dressed, eating breakfast and then watching some TV. It was 10:30am when a nurse's wagon pulled up in the driveway. Immediately I panicked. Dad had never returned in a nurse's car before. Something was wrong. Lauren opened the door to let them in. I kept nagging dad, asking him how mum was. He kept calling for Lauren and told us to both sit down. I was shaking from fear. He put his arms around Lauren and forcing back the tears he told us straight out that mum had died. I was devastated and shocked. I refused to believe it. The nurse rocked me gently in her arms like a mother would do when comforting her child. I didn't cry for long though. It had only been a few minutes since the devastating news and we were already preparing to see mum one last time and say goodbye. Terror shook my body. I was so afraid of seeing her.
Her body was motionless. Her once soft pink skin was now pale yellow and blue. Her hands were like icicles. The once plush red lips had now turned a light purple blue colour and were all cracked and dry. I willed myself not to cry by staring at a picture on the wall of trees and sheep and all I thought to myself was 'Think of the sheep. Think of the sheep'�. I constantly stared at her chest waiting for it to rise and take in air. But she never did.

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