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Elucidate
Emma Waterfield
Canada, Ontario, Waterloo

Words: 285
Access: Public
Comments: 14

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Spinning Lights

Last night I walked into an empty intersection, the lights changed from red to green, and from walk to stop. But no one was around to see it. I lay in the very middle daring a car to come speeding at me, to crush my bones and flesh. I sprung up,frightened by the thought. I spun around, the colors blurred into a beautiful and dizzying spiral. My head felt wonderfully empty, as I spun faster my world fell alway, my soul felt cleansed and pure. I spun slower, the colors solidifying into separate shapes, like a drug wearing off. I stumbled a few steps and then ran. I ran up the yellow line cutting the grey in half. Ran like the wind, from all the shit those fuckers throw at you. I ran faster then the fastest speeding car, eating up the grey, tearing into the yellow. I felt my spirit leave my body, and soar, flying over the world, looking in lovers windows. Content for the moment,their world at peace, their souls floating up to meet me, they joined hands, and invited me to grasp their long shimmering fingers. I reach for a hand, only to find it my lover's, his soul smiles at me. We fly over fields and farmyards, scattered trees are peppercorns of black. Sprinkling the land with detailed dots. The fields long strips of forgotten, stretching into infinity. I look around, the souls have vanished, the fields faded. I open my eyes; I am safe in my lover's arms, held fast to this world by him. If let go I would spring free, and shoot off, to roam a lost soul, searching for a hidden body.

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Comments  
JED3 Comment by: JED3 - 2008-09-27 10:11
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Awesome out-of body experience! You write well.
Best wishes, John
jed3
Nod Comment by: Nod - 2007-12-29 22:35
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Well, finally....after I drifted through all the bullshit "poetry" & "Great American Writers of Today", I found someone who can actually write. This I can read & require for those "rest of us", that think so highly of ourselves, to do the same. Great friggin' job. Contact me anytime. You are good.
Apollo Comment by: Apollo Online- 2007-11-12 11:59
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I like this piece, it reminds me of being on drugs but I hope you don't take that as a negative... I've seen some incredibly beautiful things on drugs :) I like the open-ended nature of the writing it let's my mind wander... well done...
Lichtentunes Comment by: Lichtentunes - 2007-08-27 23:27
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I think this is a poem, rather than flash fiction. I think you should lay it out in single lines as a poem, and then it would be easy to read and easier to follow. Leave spaces after commas, because it's really hard to read all crunched together like that.

I was hoping you'd elaborate more on the line: Ran like the wind, from all the shit those fuckers throw at you.

The sudden toilet language use was shocking and intriguing... I wanted to know more...
jesscat Comment by: jesscat - 2007-07-06 15:46
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You have a wonderful mind. I agree that the middle is a bit confusing. I got a little lost there. Maybe if you separated it into paragraphs a little bit, it would be less confusing.
The piece is beautiful, though. I love your writing. I just got a new poem up and I was hoping you would take a look at it!
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