"Have you gone, mad?"

"No, No. Still here."

"Ah, good. I wouldn't want to be lonely."

"Nope, I wouldn't want you to be lonely either - he's such a depressing bore."


***


"Where's the door?"

"Which door?"

"The door that isn't there, of course. Which door did you think I was talking about?"

"There is no door. There are no doors."

"Exactly my point."

"Have you gone mad?"

"Nope - you're still here, to keep me from being lonely."


***


"Hey, how long's that window been there?"

"For as long as you've been here."

"Ah. Yes. But how did <i>I</i> get here?"

"Why, through the door. That's how most people get here."

"There <i>is</i> no bloody door."

"Then how did you get here?"

"Oh, piss off. I'd prefer to be lonely."

"Suit yourself."


***


"The grass is very green out there."

"Oh, talking to me again, are we?"

"S'pose. Tried talking to myself, but I became lonely. The grass - very green. Out there, through the window. Much greener than in here."

"There's no grass in here: it's just four grey walls and a concrete floor. There isn't even a door."

"Actually, I was better off being lonely - fuck off please."


***


"What makes you think things are better through the window?"

"Dunno, but it's got to be better than being stuck in here, talking to you..."

"Gee, thanks."

"...besides, this room is getting smaller."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, it used to take twenty steps to walk from one wall to the other - now it takes only five."

"You could just sit down and not pace back and forth."

"Nah. My arse gets cold on the concrete, and you seem to talk more when I sit still."


***


"I've made a decision."

"Wonderful! First time for everything, and all that."

"Get stuffed. I'm gonna smash the window..."

"What with?"

"...with my hand; climb through and go play in the green grass and sunshine."

"You might be better off just staying here. I'll be lonely if you leave..."

"Better you than me. Bye."


***


"Hey..."

"Yes?"

"You got a band-aid?"

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