often ignore your phone calls
Send two word texts
Speak to you in angry tones of mother
To wide-eyed child not yet proven
Innocent
I pout
With bottom lip pushed far beyond whatever
Reaches I had imagined it possible to scale
I sulk
Shoulders hunched
Posture ruined like four year old first time facing dissapointment
Body tensed
Eyes ready to thunder-roll
Stomach flame-filled
I become frustrated
I give it over to you
I hear you sometimes
Suck your teeth
To make small effort to
Cut through tough thick air of you and I
Crying out in silence
And give no response
I look through you
Past you
Push you away
Like I still feel
You once did my love
Imploring your attention
Selfishly I skate on this
Thin ice of trying
To move you without
Pushing you too far

Bigger
Better
Bolder my
Become my circles around you
I'm pulling out all the stops
10 point jumps and turns
Figure eights again and again
Flying Camel Sit spins
Arabesque
Lunge
Now Death Drop
My love and affection
Sterling silver blades
Sharp chipping the ice of your heart

What will I do when I find center

Where will I stand when there's nowhere left to go

I push and prod and poke
Scratch score
Begin all again
For some new assurance of your love
Will you say something different
Try again
Harder
Bigger
Better
Bolder I pray
Some day you will forgive me
So engrossed in task I have taken for granted a simple act of presence .

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