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Dante
Dante Prestipino
United States, Missouri, St. Louis

Words: 184
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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Walks (Edited 6-7-08)

Walks home from school
were often interrupted
by rock fights
with kids from across the Bessemer Ditch

Earth stones were hurled
over the drainage
whizzed by our heads
slicing the air
and collecting the ghosts
of those who drowned
in that endless arroyo

As rocks flew by our heads
we could smell the decaying souls
like the gust of wind
that hits you in the face
when strangers
pass by

We heard their screams
of yearning to not let life die
to not grow up too fast
to not hurt our neighbor
we turned are heads

Shhhhhhwwww

Shooting stars of forgotten dreams
vanished into the space between breaths
my aim is not what it used to be

We were so brave
confident in our accuracy
fearless in our perpetual forward motion
hoping we could get close enough
to drop the rocks
and pound it out
where has my courage gone

Warped by age
and smacks in the face
with a ringing in my ears
the rocks were replaced
with boxing gloves
and then carpenter pencils
and now ink pens

A new constellation is born

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Comments  
Harris3dgn Comment by: Harris3dgn - 2008-06-24 17:39
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What touches me about this is not the theme, (coming of age is a very common theme), but rather the use of your childhood memory to frame it in a way that is utterly unique to you and those who were there with you.

Rocks, sandfights, a girl names so and so, we've heard it all before. Still, it never fails to inspire. You clever use of language helps a bit I think. Nice work.
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 Online- 2008-06-07 15:22
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I think you aimed higher than you used to-maturity is the changing point in most everyone's lives. Then, there are those who never grow up and continue to throw stones.
Loved this poem. I used to throw dirt clots. I even built a fort of bricks to protect myself from rocks.
Dante Comment by: Dante - 2008-06-07 08:52
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Colin, thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it. After reading, a couple of times, I agree with the "passers by/ pass by" lines - way too obvious. I made a simple correction. Thanks again, D.
colindardis Comment by: colindardis - 2008-06-07 05:47
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Great opening, very simple, but effective: it sets the scene perfectly. I enjoyed reading this, very romantic retrospect, and then suddenly brought forward to an explanation of the speaker's current state. 'fearless in our perpetual forward motion' is an excellent line. Only criticism would be 'passers by / pass by'. It just seems... too obvious, you know?
Mick Comment by: Mick - 2008-01-29 03:26
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‘Shooting stars of forgotten dreams
vanished into the space between breaths
my aim is not what it used to be'… has to be my favourite stanza
Great poem Dante! Reminds me of my walks home from school… well done.
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