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Arms folding
Filling my heart
A fire burns within
It is the start.
Eyes closed
Images of the mind
Souls connected
An eternal bind.
Two hearts
Beating in time
Coiled together
Wedding bells chime.
Aging slowly
Together forever
One complete soul
Nothing will sever.
Love is everlasting
It burns like a fire
Love is eternal
A deep desire.
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I really appreciate your comments. I guess I was thinking of the wedding bells because the one who I am writing about is my boyfriend and we are talking about getting married in the next year. He about cried when he read the poem. It made me very proud.
Very nice rhythm to this piece. It conveys everyone's desire to love and be loved in return. I agree that the "wedding bells chime" line seems out of place here. At this early hour of the morning, my brain cannot come up with a better suggestion though, sorry.
I tried to find the author of a quote that basically said that there was no cure for this disease but marriage. I think it came out of one of the Arthurian Legend stories.
There's nothing inherently wrong with the line "Wedding Bells Chime," but it seems out of place with the first three lines. Perhaps something that ties together those lines by referring to the oneness and "entwanglement" would sound better. I can't come up with a suggestion right now, as it should rhyme with "time" and rhyming is not my strong point. Neither is keeping my lines even.
