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Through a Pickup Window
The sun sets into the hills
Nestling into her bosom
The light flickering off the lake
Slowly dwindles to twilight
Rough-winged swallows swoop down
And gulp disappearing hints of light
Like the waning of dreams
Which are captured in an instant
The pallid moonlight faintly reveals their path
Memories trace slowly behind
A reel show emanating
Which fade and sprinkle to the earth
If I could only please her
Like summer hills do me
We could sink into these valleys
And let the wildflowers entangle us
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| Lovely poem. The final stanza is just simply breathtaking. I have nothing more to add to what has been said already except to add my voice to the chorus of praise. Good stuff! |
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| Amazing to read buddy... seriously that is amazing and the last stanza rocks the party keep writingh bro that was amazingly beautiful |
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| The imagery here is so wonderful my friend, peaceful, tranquil, Lovin' it *^_^* |
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| I like the idea of the sun settling down, all cosy, at the end of the day, and us settling down along with it. What a great image. Not sure about 'flickering off of the lake'- I know what you mean with 'off of', but it sounds a little awkward. I think you could get away with just 'off'. |
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*We could sink (into) her valleys
*and let their wildflowers? whose wildflowers?
Other than those two places, this sounded like quite a romantic place to be. I enjoy your style. |
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