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nonalienabductee
Niccole Segura
Online
United States, Pennsylvania/Ohio

Words: 933
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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Aurora Borealis

She grabs my hand and throws money down on the bar.  'Come on!'¯ she says, her smoky voice made thicker with excitement.  Waving to the bartender, she runs to the door as I stumble behind her, handcuffed to her by her surprisingly strong grip.  'We'll miss it,'¯ she says, speeding up.


            Once outside, she drags me across the parking lot, her long legs sprinting fluidly while my own struggle to keep up.


            The night is cold and clear, with each star standing out brightly against the jetty sky.  The waterfalls, which fall from the same cliff on which the bar is built, shine with the reflection of the Northern Lights.  The aurora are so close that they seem to touch the falls, dipping into the water.


            Even as I race to keep up with my mysterious companion, I cannot help but marvel at the aurora borealis.  I moved to this chilly country only a month ago, and these startling natural wonders still amaze me.  Rainbows seem lifeless when compared to their dazzle, and the stars' light seems grimy in when seen next to the northern lights. 


So wrapped up am I in my admiration that I don't realize where we are headed until it is too late.


'Take a big breath,'¯ she says, laughing.  I snap my head around to see what she means and nearly scream as she leaps over the cliff.


I try to pull away, but she holds me fast, and we plummet alongside the falls.  The water sprays us, soaking our clothes with freezing water.  Again I attempt to shout with terror and pain, but the shock has stopped my voice and tightened my chest so that I barely make a sound.


The woman turns to look at me, her white teeth gleaming in the starlight as she grins.  ''You ain't seen nothing yet!''¯ she quotes, pulling on my hand again.  Her ethereal looks which had been so attractive to me earlier'the bone-pale skin, the electric-blue eyes, the white-blond hair streaked with light pinks and blues'now seem freakish and alien.  I hate her.


Closing my eyes and gritting my teeth, I try to pray, but my mind is numb with shock.  I had heard that one's life passes before one's eyes in these situations, but instead just a terrible blankness overrides all thought.


'Look up!'¯ my tormentor commands, and as her hand, impossibly, begins to pull me upward, I venture a glance against my will.  I gasp at the new astonishment and my eyes widen in awe and wonder.


We have landed among the aurora borealis and are riding the light, flying amongst its brilliant beams.  Every color of the rainbow dances around us, caressing my frozen body with feathery softness. 


The air is thin and freezing, a sharp wind blowing deep to my bones, and I begin to shiver.  'Cold?'¯ she asks, looking at me with concern.  I nodded, and she begins kicking her feet.  'Then we'll go faster,'¯ she says, doing so.  I imitate her motions, and soon we are zipping back and forth.  Still holding hand, we speed across the lights.


'Try this,'¯ she says in a few moments, and she pulls me so that we dive toward the earth.  As we near the ground, I draw in a nervous breath, but she flings us skyward again with a fingerbreadth to spare.  Then she sets us spinning and we loop-de-loop, and soon I am laughing too as we play amongst the Northern Lights.  The wind has dried our clothes and I immerse myself in the joy of this impossibility. 


Eventually I notice that the aurora borealis is beginning to fade, and I look at her with disquiet.  She looks back, her smile gone.  'Do you trust me?'¯ she asks.


I nod solemnly.


'Goodbye then,'¯ she says, and lets go of my hand.


Instantly, gravity seizes me and I fall like s tone.  I barely have time to register panic before she catches up with me, her eyes dancing with mischief but sad.  She leans forward and finds my mouth with hers, keeping the rest of her body out of my reach.  She kisses me and I feel . . .


 


Imagine riding a lightning bolt.


Imagine being smothered with the scent of the night sky.


Imagine a thunderclap echoing in your soul.


Imagine drinking the wind.


Imagine seeing Heaven, and its perfection is such that your heart breaks.


 


I do not know how I land on the ground, for I do not become sensible to the world again until the sun has risen to the top of the sky.  I do not know where she is, that beautiful creature of midnight and unexpected wonders who took me into her world and showed me the realm that dwells outside the ordinary.  All I know is that I am back to my average life.  I do not think that she will return ever again, to take me into the sky and into the light.  All I can do is remember the Aurora and the way we flew, remember the chill of the air and the clear night.


Perhaps that will be enough.


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Comments  
BethShanFan Comment by: BethShanFan - 2007-08-28 14:16
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yeah this is really really good. i enjoyed it. can't wait to read more! :-)
kevingruzewski Comment by: kevingruzewski - 2007-08-08 21:47
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Very, very good story. It gives us turns, surprises, beauty, terror, and more in so few words. Not only are the descriptions great, but the inner shifting of emotions during the story really make the story special. And the ending, the longing for having a night like that again but knowing it will probably never happen--I think everyone gets has a night like that. Yeah, there are some grammar issues a rewrite would probably take care of, but all in all, this is a very good story. One of the better I've read in awhile.
All the best,
kevin
Comment by: - 2007-08-08 15:29
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i actually felt cold while reading this. excellent. and i love how you just throw the reader right into the action from the beginning.

"I do not know how I land on the ground, for I do not..." that "for" feels forced to me.

i'm excited to read more of your work!
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2007-08-02 10:01
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Hi, Niccole,

Wow, what a journey. Nonstop from beginning to end, frenetic but not overwrought, detailed but not to the point where I lost interest. So colorful and what wonderful imagery, yet not cliched in any way. I really enjoyed it. *goes back to reread it again*

Okay, some nits:

handcuffed to her by her surprisingly strong grip. - repeat of 'her' was a little jarring. Maybe 'a surprisingly etc.'? Oh, and I'd go back and cut out a few of the adverbs.

and the starsā?? light seems grimy in when seen next to the northern lights. - I think you have an extra word here.

I hate her. - With all the incredible fear and confusion - which you portray as very clear and strong emotions - this seemed a little too much. Think about a time when you were really afraid and very confused. Maybe this is me, but I think the hate would come afterwards. I'm not sure what I just wrote even makes sense.

I had heard that oneā??s life passes before oneā??s eyes in these situations, - THANK YOU! Thank you for not dragging me kicking and screaming into the story by using 'you' or 'your'. It's things like this that make your story flow so, so well.

I gasp at the new astonishment - I'd put 'with' instead of 'at the'. Astonishment, to me, is something someone feels, not really sees. I hope you know what I mean. I've either had too much or not enough coffee.

I nodded - tense change

Still holding hand - hands?

I fall like s tone

I do not become sensible - here, I'd use past tense because you're describing what happened before. And I wouldn't be hesitant about using a few more contractions here and there, or the narration takes on a little bit of a stilted feel.

You know the image I received from what you wrote? That I was riding with this woman through an opal ring. Also, and I mean this as a compliment, your story reminded me a passage from 'At the Back of the North Wind', which has always been one of my favorite books.

Thanks for this wonderful break from reality, Niccole. And as always, most of this is merely my opinion.

Teri xo
tcbswan Comment by: tcbswan - 2007-07-21 16:11
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excellent! enjoyed every word! thanks for the read~
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