You Left Me Bleeding
Like the bulls of Pamplona
You thundered through my life
Out of control, loose.
I ran with you
Following
Blindly,
Without heed
Or thought or care.
You left me bleeding.
My heart reeling , confused.
Why did I get such treatment?
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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2007-12-22 17:40
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| Good read! It makes me think:Who can act in real life as the bulls referred to? |
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Comment by: Stephie - 2007-11-13 13:07
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I love the imagery in this poem, I would love to see more in it though. Also if you (again) put things in the present tense, it will strengthen your poem, as well as using an active voice instead of the passive.
example:
Like the bulls of Pamplona
You thunder through my life
Out of control, loose.
I run with you
Follow
Blindly,
Without heed
Or thought or care.
You leave me bleeding.
My heart reels , confused.
Why do I get such treatment?
But yeah, I love the poem, and would LOVE to read more of your imagery. |
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Comment by: Anne - 2007-08-07 10:54
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Great!!! I agree love the line ... You thundered through my life .Love your title. Well done
Anne |
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Comment by: - 2007-08-05 21:35
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Was this an intentional "shape" poem, Dennis? Not that I was influenced by Sam Adams, but the physical layout of the words is the first thing I noticed (though I don't make out a particular shape myself, unless the longer lines are bull's horns).
Well written. Each word selected for the just the right amount of impact. Pathos, but not pathetic. Dramatic, but not melodramatic. A human viewpoint.
The only nit ... the superfluous space between "reeling" and the comma.
Good write. |
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| Ouch...painful write....im surprised u made it.Must be all that black toad u be drinking.told u that stuff was a potent brew....lol.Great imagery Dennis hey and if u flip the poem sideways it lookks like that cape they taunt the bulls with.....intentional...wow sam adams madkes u see some trippy things...smooches,Sash |
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