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The Joker (wee story challenge)
The darkened room holds the game in its silent clutches. Flames crackle and dance like frenzied showgirls in the fireplace. The table creaks in time to the sighs of the players. Concentration hardens the faces that loom from the shadows, solemn and focused. A flicker of light caresses the edge of a silver blade. It splits the darkness, and meets its target. Cards are thrown into the air. A heavy chair falls back, spilling the player onto the cold stone floor. The cards scatter harmlessly across the heavily pocked surface of the table. Only one lands face up.
The joker.
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| I don't know what to say! I loved everything about this story! *Applauds* |
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An interesting way of shuffling/cutting cards.
Sounds as though this table is a bit of a joke.
Great story, considering the limited amount of words.
Liked it very much
mynamelez
PS like the profile photo (very pretty) |
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I love this!
What great descriptions...flames danced like frenzied showgirls...table creaks in time w/ the sighs...great work here. And in the finale, you don't get into the whats, whos or whys. Just clear that someone buys the farm. We can figure it out by ourselves and I love that kinda respect for the readers. |
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Comment by: Teri - 2007-07-10 18:33
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As stated, wonderful images and atmosphere. That end really is stunning. You build up tension until the subtle, yet eerie, ending. Very clean work. Thanks for the read, Icy.
Teri |
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holy crap.
Flames crackle and dance like frenzied showgirls in the fireplace.
//nice.
The table creaks in time to the sighs of the players.
//solid.
A flicker of light caresses the edge of a silver blade.
//um... wow.
this work is dynamite.. can anyone say relentless subject verb constructions? niiiice.
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( . . )
c(")(")
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