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Informal Grae
Graeme Sandford
United Kingdom, HAMPSHIRE, Totton

My Bookshop
Words: 209
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Dead In The Water (song lyrics)

Just a limp, lifeless body

Floating face down in the water.

Somewhere, someone is missing me

Tears upon cheeks for their daughter.

 

I never meant to cause any pain

I'd do it differently if I could do it again:

But I'm dead, in the water.

 

One short life, now it's gone

Couldn't carry on with no feeling.

Didn't fit in, couldn't belong

No sign of my heart wounds healing

 

I never meant to cause any pain

I'd do it differently if I could do it again:

But I'm dead, dead in the water. Dead in the water.

 

Moved along with the flow

bloated and nibbled by the sea.

Eyeless, I lay gazing below

From depths they are staring at me.

 

I'll never taste the salt water of your tears.

Never watch as your life peters out.

Never share my growing strong years.

Never suffer through longing or doubt.

Never nourish the flesh of my womb.

Never cherish the children I'd make.

Never return from my watery tomb.

Never that pathway would I take.

 

I never meant to cause any pain

I'd do it differently if I could do it again:

But I'm dead, dead in the water.

Dead, dead in the water

Dead.


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Comments  
yugohoshi Comment by: yugohoshi - 2007-10-15 03:31
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this was good. i'd like to hear it with instruments but just reading it struck an emotional chord for me. but can i ask, what type of song is this? It'll just help let me imagine the melody. But powerful lyrics tho.
skypoetone Comment by: skypoetone Online- 2007-07-22 07:22
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Love the lyrics! I envy good song writers... I am going to try write some... if you have any tips, pass them along Gre.

~Tony
Lucy Lepchani Comment by: Lucy Lepchani - 2007-07-19 05:49
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The effect is dramatic, and I appreciate the juxtaposition of gorey-ness ('eyeless gazing' etc) with the sentimentality of the whole thing. For a subject matter so often done badly, (either clumsily gratuitous or pathetically cheesy,)this is rather good, actually. Nick Cave would love it!
Blackbirdsong Comment by: Blackbirdsong - 2007-07-18 12:26
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Unfortunately because these are lyrics, I'm only getting half of impact of this piece since the addition of music would certainly add to it.

It's a powerful write as it is, but now I'm curious what it sounds like when it's sung. I mean what kind of music is this lyrics to? There were so many possibilities floating in and out of my brain as I was reading this.

What you have - without music of course - is raw and evocative. We're not given the whole story here - which is fine - but we are left with the aftermath of something clearly tragic.

This is really a powerful read and perhaps somehow, someday we'll get to hear you sing it.

take care :)
Comment by: - 2007-07-18 12:01
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i am unsure how to critique this piece as lyrical. where repetition may work with music, as writing it becomes tedium. it seems that the thrust of the piece revolves around "dead in the water" as the axiom but where there should be irony, the cliches are thrown in ad nauseam and the alliteration is very noticeable- which is maybe what one wants when crafting lyrics? (ie: "never" etc) contextual problems in a few places as well (eyeless, i lay gazing...) that might take too much poetic license when grammatically poor. this feedback might be rubbish because of the format, but thank you for sharing and allowing the opportunity for critique.
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"Starters"

by Graeme Sandford



A taster of some of informal grae's early writing for your delectation. Mere morsels to tempt the tongue.

How it was 10-20 years ago.

Starters

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By Informal Grae

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