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| incredibly clever. I wrote a 100 word one on what ends up being a banana at the end ; ) |
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Comment by: Stefan - 2007-11-30 14:18
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| You must be good at those "that's what she said" jokes. |
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| >> (but) >> I don't notice those things either Rachel however looking at this piece more objectively a second time (& knowing Tim, below, whose critiques are always deeply considered), losing that word will only add style. Not that it wasn't there to begin with. Awesome writing (again). Ash |
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| do you suggest that i drop (but)? the entire poem is one sentence...or do you mean at the beginning of a line of poetry you shouldn't use but? thanks for the comment! |
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hiya Rachel..
(but) one that will fit well
//but at the front of a sentence is... frowed on. novice.
with the other fruit.
//i like this work.. the tone is really desolate. i get it. ultra cool for 24 words.
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