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KennethWelling
Kenneth Welling
United States, GA, Marietta

Words: 226
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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I Lick the Point of My Pen

The taste remains like a cut on my tongue,
And I begin remembering them.
One said the taste of pennies
Would hide the smell of alcohol.
A different taste every week,
But all I can remember
Is money in my mouth.

No '¦ I do recall a beach
Where surf rolled over conversation
And churned the sand behind us
Till it was smooth again.
Her eyes at least I remember
Like blue ink in strange porcelain bowls
Deep enough to supply
Several hundred lines,
But from me, she'll have nine.

There was a meal opposite of someone,
The click of forks on teeth,
The taste of iron and red meat.
Salt I can remember from biology
Is important in the chemistry of feeling:
Salt in a cut, salt on an eyelash or on a steak.
I was saying goodbye, and had a full stomach
When I left her there, a dissolving memory
Like a pillar of salt falling backward.

Who was that person? I wonder,
Thinking about myself.
I barely remember him.

I do remember a lighter,
Lit a long while.
The flame flowed over
A glowing arch of metal,
Sparking little stars of something like life.
I felt them when I pressed
A new vivid crescent into my ankle.
Three times would leave
Three livid scars overlapping
Like a link and a half of chain.

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Comments  
Sophia Comment by: Sophia - 2007-07-24 03:56
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this is a very thoughtful piece of writing, I enjoyed following where it took me. You have lots of beautiful lines and descriptions here, so it would be impossible to pick them all out but some I liked are:

W'hen I left her there, a dissolving memory
Like a pillar of salt falling backward.'

and


'Her eyes at least I remember
Like blue ink in strange porcelain bowls
Deep enough to supply
Several hundred lines,
But from me, sheâ??ll have nine.'

A wonderful poem.
Comment by: - 2007-07-23 10:29
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i really like how you create present tense streams of consciousness in most of your writing, this piece included. it builds an immediate rapport with the reader.

this poem was a little surprising because i started interpreting it as "meta" writing but then in verse two it takes on a more ode-like quality.

the last verse is what i keep returning to upon my re-reads. the imagery is fairly strong and interesting but i'm having a hard time linking it (no pun intended) to the rest of the piece. it's almost too confessional and internal and vague to fit with the rest of the piece. the fourth verse took me out of the narrative voice because it felt too repetitive and mildly cliche. verses 1-3 are strong and if you wanted to, you could force a different impact by doing cuts in your revisions.

thanks for sharing this poem. i really enjoyed reading it. the first verse is so incredibly rereadable- really loving it.
matt1 Comment by: matt1 - 2007-07-22 03:30
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Fantastic!!!
1

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