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carlessadam
Adam Raj
United Kingdom, Manchester

Words: 127
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Escape Artists (Never) Die

As a world turns...

Creation never blooms,

To permit
Or to be forbidden to wear
out loud
a desire that internally flames

Where back at home,
Inspiration looms,
Churning inplace of memory,
Turning and repeating

a self fulfilling prophecy

in limbo or in learning?

=================================

And through transcending time
and the space beneath
the daily grind,

You can watch it all fly by,
each happening

Without ever having to find
A strickening approval,
Or a compromise in mind

===================================

Like the inside horseman,
In each eye of every storm,
Shielded where the stallions run wild,

Embracing a thousand eyed monster
Wandering,
offering no reply...

For where no one is there to listen,
Eternity resides

...and artistically speaking,

There's no taboo left to run from
Or sagacity to hide behind

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Comments  
sarah1612 Comment by: sarah1612 - 2007-10-21 17:16
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The final lines have a real power. It's an interesting poem, good stuff.
Comment by: - 2007-07-25 09:57
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now you're working those end rhymes! "hurting" is a little off and breaks the cadence- is this intentional? it's a little distracting and the rhymes seem to take away some of the power, even though some of the verbage is strong ("churning" etc.)

the last verse is really where i feel on board, especially with assonance (time and grind; there is the natural rhythm) but the last line doesn't feel like a pay-off. i think partly because it doesn't jive with the first two lines in the last verse (living forever but it's all over?) and the "it" is sort of ambiguous. the flow could definitely be drawn out in revisions if you wanted more impact for the end; a longer line would do it and something sharper and less vague in imagery (vs. "it's").

thanks as always for sharing. i really like that you're experimenting with language.
Seanm Comment by: Seanm - 2007-07-25 05:36
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cool work
1

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By carlessadam

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